timjim77

I get the sense of someone speaking from a soapbox. not necessarily in a bad sense. But it has a jagged feel to it, which is fine, except the somewhat ...

Funny and funny.

Watch frocing rhymes. And an AAAA rhyme scheme is quite diffiult to pull off. Try ABAB or something similar to that.

The broken structure of this poem reflects the content. I love that.

i don't know how anyone can call this cliche. I loved the line "A man destined to burn can never drown." Classic. Great job.

Hmm. Provocative. The simplicity gives a nice backdrop for the emotion. nice work.

It'd be really great with a killer guitar solo after the third chorus. Then the guitars should fade out and all you're left with is a drum beat for the ...

Delete.

"Good causes are thought up in boardrooms. Morals are bought and sold. Philosophies for the New Age consumer.": This refers to the Baby Boomer generation. our generation is not the ...

I think that the first few lines of this poem are a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I found this to be trite. It did not achieve what it attempted. First of all, you talk of the wruistband generation, and speak of at least two different generations. ...

Enjoyable and witty. But it sounds a bit pretentious. If you poked fun at your own pretentiousness, then it would be an even better poem .But i truly did enjoy ...

I liked it as a poem, and I can hear an even better song behind it. Really liked it. I liked the chorus more than the verses.

Liked it. The flow was coppy, intentionally, but I think that if the idea of what you were trying to say was better developed, the poem may have hit a ...

It's pretty good. It does flow really nicely, everything was well described which I thought was really good. The only problem is - Is that your main character sounds a ...