Published October 5, 2005
Deleted.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
It was a hooking beginning and it held me all the way through. I loved the reference to the bush and the whole way that the man tells the boy about how he will bleed once and how he has to live. I also liked how you specified that it was a "man's blood, not a boy's blood". It got your point across about the wound that you are talking about. I agree with you in this poems sense and it is also very well written. Congrats.
I liked the images and how it all flowed together, I just don't feel like it ever really connected to the reader and started to make sense. It feels like there's a piece missing, almost, a vital piece that would make it all make it all clearer.
Delete.
Nice. However, I don't understand the ending. Does the boy get in a fight? Is life beating him down? Please explain. The burning bush metaphor is quite good.