timjim77

I like this poem for two reasons. Firstly, because it has wonderful imagery. Secondly, because it is a good example for a time when diction could be improved. Diction is ...

I liked the punctuation here. Something spoken into clear silence. I love how it begins with end, as if we are peeking in on something already in progress. Raisin hands ...

I happen to be an actor myself. I have also seen many plays. But more importantly, I know what it is like, as an actor, to get a script and ...

Hey, it's me again. Once again your strength/weakness is showing and telling. When you show, you shine. When you tell, you fell. Stupid rhyme, sorry. "Daniel Shandor was sitting at ...

I think everyone can agree that the title here was the best part of the poem. The title's amazing. The rest of the poem needs revision. "You come from a ...

This "stream of consciousness" was interesting and raw. I loved lines like "I don’t need therapy, I need to therapy myself" or "For once I want to say ‘no, it ...

Loved the use of alliteration. Don't see that often any more. Poems have volumes. Sometimes you will read the first line of a poem, like Dylan Thomas' Do Not Go ...

“Welcome to my world” is a bit of a lame duck opening. Especially since the lights go down after that. The intensity of the one line is good. But what ...

Inca, you're overanalyzing a bit here. No wonder you don't feel floored by the emotion. You're reading with your head. (But I usually love your critiues. Just disagree on this ...

Show, don't tell. This is essential. Do not underestimate the reader. Now read carefully, because this might sound strange at first: it is better to leave a detail out then ...

Hmm. Doesn't do much as a character sketch, since we don't see anything really unique about these characters. Pretty stereotypical of dramatic personages. Horny guys. Hard-to-get women, struggling fro

This poem seemed....bipolar. Couldn't make heads or tails of it. It had too manyaspects, and none were defined clearly. It was like a literary attempt at cubism, without really knowing ...

Its eyes, full glee: Huh? Here you rhymed, and you had meter. I love rhyme and meter. I am not one to encourage free verse all the time. But you ...

The first three lines are sheer brilliance. After that, it seems a bit like an out-of-control carriage or something. I still liked the carriage part, and I liked the effect ...

I must disagree with David. The poem has no substance. Every line repeats itself. We can summarize the poem in one line: "I am shouting in agony because I want ...