tigershark17

Hey! So, I am using the six traits thing again. I used this on your first chapter, so if you're totally lost because you haven't read my other review yet, ...

Hey! Okay, so I review using the six traits writing system, meaning I'll list the six traits, what I thought about your story for each of them, and then I'll ...

Wow! Okay, I review based on the six trait writing system, so I'll list the six things, tell you what I thought, and then give you a rating on each ...

Hey Lizzie So, I rate based on the six traits writing system, which basically means that I grade you on six different things (see below), and for each you also ...

Hey! You don't have to only post completed works. I don't know if you've noticed yet, but most of YWS is actually things people haven't finished. Just saying... (: I ...

Ooh! I'm first, I'm first, I'm first! I don't have too much to say about this one actually. You held my attention well; as always, I loved it! I am ...

Ideas: great! I loved this story. Sweet and sad, and although you hear stories like this a lot, you had a unique way of telling it that really kept me ...

Hmmm... very interesting. I liked the beginning; it was a good lead in. Your details were excellent in most places, and you did a good job of showing, not telling. ...

This is very good; however, you could add a lot more to it. Instead of telling us in the spoiler that she has been poisoned, why not add it into ...

WOw; how fast did you write this? Really try to pay attention to end marks, commas, etc... And make sure you include all the words you want to say. Sometimes ...

Another good one! Though Haunting is better, in my humble opinion. Only one thing I saw: after you say "hills that shine like diamonds in" you should delete the comma. ...

WOW! WOW! WOW! WOW! WOW! I think this just might be the best short story I have read here on YWS so far! And I have read many. This was ...

This is very cool! I always feel this way when I play a nice piano. I once played a two million dollar piano, and I couldn't believe the way it ...

Haha! This is great! A few minor spelling errors: truley/truly, windowsil/windowsill, silloette/silhouette. That's about it. I really like the end too. You might want to capitalize the word "the" at ...

Great start! I love the air of creepy mystery this has. Okay, a few minor nitpicks: In fact lately, whenever I close my eyes, it was the only thing I ...