Published June 20, 2011
The Great Wall of China
There it stands, meandering,
Across the emerald green,
From the East, towards the west,
On the tops of rolling jade,
Hills that shine like diamonds in
The early morning wind.
My feet beat the uneven ground,
Like many have before me,
Clutching at the crumbling rock
Which ivy clings to like a saviour,
I see the frozen guards that stand,
Unseeing, unblinking, unmoving.
The further I travel, the more I see,
The luscious red and brown herbs,
That coat, the landscape
Like a skin, that moves
In the rustling wind, alive,
Ready to share their secrets with me.
My breath ragged in my throat,
The stone turrets mocking,
Calling, offering shade,
And peace, and quiet.
But soon, I will reach the top.
The top of The Great Wall of China.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,868 Literary Works • 673,696 Reviews
This is a really great poem. The way it flows is really amazing. I love how it is so descriptive as if you have been there your self *wink wink*!! I think maybe you should play around with a few of the words to make it more distinctive. But overall a great job!!
Ahhhh! I se what you mean!
I shall see to it that it is perfected. Mwahaha.
To be or not to be [a coma], that is the question. xD
Sorry, random mood!
Oh, but hold your horses ... erm ... sharks, Tiger Shark, there is no coma where you said there is a coma :O! My oh my, it's a miracle! xD
Another good one! Though Haunting is better, in my humble opinion. Only one thing I saw: after you say "hills that shine like diamonds in" you should delete the comma. It will make it flow better for the reader. Anyway, awesome job. I love this one too!
I like it a lot.
There it stands, meandering,Across the emerald green,From the East, towards the west,On the tops of rolling jade,Hills that shine like diamonds in, The early morning wind.My feet beat the uneven ground,Like many have before me,Clutching at the crumbling rockWhich ivy clings to like a saviour,I see the frozen guards that stand,Unseeing, unblinking, unmoving.The further I travel, the more I see,The luscious red and brown herbs,That coat, the landscape Like a skin, that movesIn the rustling wind, alive, Ready to share their secrets with me.My breath ragged in my throat,The stone turrets mocking,Calling, offering shade,And peace, and quiet. But soon, I will reach the top.The top of The Great Wall of China.