tigeraye

First off, I love that description. It's something really eye-proking to get people to click and read, well done. Ben sighed and dragged himself across yet another large dune in ...

This Holden Caulfield-esque narrative is really good. Listen, my age is just a number. I'm just riding on it. I'm not in it for the drama, so don't expect any ...

hahaha, Gales like that kid who keeps putting his broken toys back together, then after it breaks too many times he just tears it apart. I love how a story ...

This is a curiously interesting narrative. I think writing a first person narrative in the present tense is really hard to pull off. But you did it well. The narrator's ...

A great feast was held in my honor. This made me forget about the wizard. That's a little bit...straightforward for a description. Why not instead of saying "This made me ...

3. Oh so don’t pay no mind to my watering eyes, must be something in the air I’m breathing Once again, Gale tells Teal nothing. haha, I like that opening. ...

“I pulled you out of here,” Gale tells Teal, and receives a long, lost gaze in return. “I don’t think I could have breathed in there.” This dialogue is simple, ...

It wasn’t until seventh period biology that my life turned upside down without even realizing. Partners are always scary, I don’t care who you are. When the teacher tells you ...

The first section is a humongous wall of text. Split it up into at least two or three paragraphs if you can, you'll get a lot more reads that way. ...

t was the night before Christmas and all through the house. Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse. But children will be children so young Bob Malarkey was ...

The faith that I had been raised in cast on me like a net of guilt and sin. Yet, if God made everything and everyone then he made me like ...

The dialogue, characters and mood are all really great here. There are a couple awkward sentences here and there, but that's natural with something done in one night, so I ...

I type my name for the seventh time and it gets added to the leader board, which contains only my name. Yep, I’m coming in first, second, third, fourth, right ...

A couple stylistic things while I read through it: ‘Why does this loser have a pretty dress like that? I should have that beautiful dress.’ When portraying inner thoughts, you ...

Alright, this will be a really short review. Overall, I find this to be really well written. Your imagery is really powerful and you have a really unique, almost profound, ...