thedelphinater

HIII!!!!!!! Ahem, sorry about that, loopy on cold medicine. Anyway, this was pretty good, but I definitely agree with Claeren on the whole rhythm and flow thing. I too was ...

Aww, this was sweet! I couldn't really find anything wrong with it, I just have a few suggestions. I'm not so sure of this is really an error, but I ...

I didn't think it was as bad as you said. I mean, I can tell it was written in a hurry because there were a few little mistakes, but plot ...

I really liked this. I mean, "See Emily Play" is my favorite Pink Floyd song, which is very cliche since my name is Emily, but, I really don't care. I ...

This was one of the funniest things I've read in a long time! I was laughing almost the entire time. I know that it gets a bit more serious during ...

This was good. I got the sense of a bard reciting this in like the Middle ages or something. I don't know, maybe I'm weird, or maybe that's what you ...

Umm, this was confusing. The transitions are a bit too harsh and frequent for the reader to tell what's going on. The writing itself is good, just a the plot ...

Hmm, dark, but good. Needs some cleaning up though. The first word of each line should be capitalized, and you only did that for a few lines. Also, you are ...

I loved this! I thought the imagery, the message, everything was awesomeness! One thing that made me frown a little was the meter and rhyme (or at least I think ...

This was depressing, but really good. I liked how the story sort of flips at the end. It goes from the perspective of an innocent little kid, to a criminal ...

This was good. I really liked it. A few little things though: Firstly, I definitely agree that the punctuation needs work. Secondly, and I'm not even sure if this is ...

T'was good, though I will say this one more time: YOU ARE NOT FAT AT ALL!!! I mean, seriously, if you're fat, then I'm scared of what I must be. ...

Wait, I have a question. For whatever reason, I read chapter one through twenty before I read the prologue, and I always thought they were the same age. Here, it ...

Not bad. I liked it. A few little punctuation things though: “Yeah. I like him a lot,” The comma should be a period. “About… us” I had to strain my ...

Um, I think I like it. I wasn't quite sure what it was trying to say most of the time. Like, one minute you're talking about candy corn and Halloween, ...