Young Writers Society

okay so freaking AMAZING peice here. no joke. all the little nitpicks that people mentioned above, i think they should all be thrown into the garbage disposal, brought back up and shoved down their throats. okay so maybe thats a little violent point is, i don't agree with a single one of them. i loved EVERYTHING about this peice.

maybe im just biased because i myself am ridiculously pudgy. except see the difference is that i havent gotten over it. in accordance with what xDudettex said, i would be the person who writes that "i hate myself, why can't i be perfect" peice. i just wanted to tell you that this peice really encouraged me. i mean it defeinitely did NOT change the way i think of myself, but it made me take a second look, and its always nice to know theres someone in your same position out there. (honestly everyone i know is pretty much perfectly skinny).

this piece was just down to earth and matter-of-fact and funny and heart warming and i just LOVED it. this was my favorite part:


"So when anyone told you that you could go without a pound or two, you wanted to

rebel. You wanted to drown yourself in the chocolate, the cookies, the chips, just to show

everyone how much of a crap you didn't give."


that just makes me smile, because its so true. so yea i absolutely LOVED this peice. amazing fantabulous ridiculously awesome job

Kay thats nice. I am really pudgy too. Actually... not really. Im not pudgy at all. My dog is, though. He always gets into the place where we keep his dog food. We should move it soon... anyway. I like your story. the end is nice.
YO PEACE OUT

TREE

"I stared at myself in the mirror, watching my thighs, my stomach, my arms, my everything jiggle."

Haha, I love the way that begins. This just made me feel better about myself. No, seriosly? There have got to be so many girls out there that can relate to this and so many girls that can learn from it to.

Kudos! =]

I stared at myself in the mirror, watching my thighs, my stomach, my arms, my everything jiggle. The thing about being fat was that you got used to it. You got used to having the extra rolls of flesh everywhere. It was just another part of life. And every time you lost some weight, while everyone else noticed, you didn't. Because after looking at yourself the same way each day, it was next to impossible imagining yourself anyway else.

I turned to the side, sighing heavily. My stomach rolled out, although I could see my ribs pushing through the thin skin. I wasn't fat fat. Ten pounds less and I would be like those other girls, skin stretched tight around their calf muscles. But that was the problem. The other girls looked like that, and they wanted you to look like that too. So when anyone told you that you could go without a pound or two, you wanted to rebel. You wanted to drown yourself in the chocolate, the cookies, the chips, just to show everyone how much of a crap you didn't give.

Because eating was good. Sitting on the couch with a bowl of ice cream in your lap was good. Scraping brownie crusts off of the side of the pan was very I just added that for extra emphasis good. Feeling your legs burn in gym two minutes before everyone else's started to was good. And when all the other kids were outside, riding bikes or kicking soccer balls, and you were inside reading, well, that was good too. After eight years, you learned to love the love-handles, the tummy, the arms, because they were a part of you. Though not always desirable, they made you, and you accepted that.

And when the "skinny" girls whispered about you, thinking that you couldn't hear, you just smiled. That was the way it was. Maybe it was your fault, and maybe you were lazy, but so be it. Because that was the way you were, and maybe curling up on the couch with a Shakespeare play and a candy bar was so much more enjoyable than running five miles.

I grinned at myself and threw on a pair of blue jeans maybe? jeans and a t-shirt, loving the pale face and broad body in the mirror.




I liked it. People are always saying to me, "Oh! You've gotten skinnier!" I just say, "Really? Cuz I think I gained." I'm just used to being pudgy around my tummy (and everywhere else) by now.


Good work!

Keep writing!

God Bless!

Wow.
I am horizontally challenged too, to quote meep, but I haven't been able to accpet it with as much ease as you have. I try to, and it's very difficult for me because I'm the only one in my family or among my friends who's like that. Reading your story, I cannot help but be inspired, take charge, and be confident of who I am. I loved the fact that you feel you don't need to conform with how everyone looks. I think that if everyone on the world could do that so nonchalantly the world would be a much, much happier place!

*Gives you your well deserved tenth gold star*

Gosh, thanks for making me smile!
I get a tad annoyed when my friends complain that they're fat,
When they're already resembling toothpicks,
While I'm the one standing there with the blubber padding my body.
I loved its 'feel-good' flavour and inspirational quality.
You've set a good example for horizontally challenged people
Kudos to you!

~*Gold Star!!!*

fluteluvr77 wrote:Twin!!! You got featured again?!?!?! Unfair, but congrats!!! This was reallllly good!!

jumelle<3

Twin!!! You got featured again?!?!?! Unfair, but congrats!!! This was reallllly good!!

jumelle<3

Hiya, Pen.

This was so wonderful, Pen. Girls should read this and realize they just need to love themselves for who they are! I know this certainly made me feel better. (Trust me, this is coming from someone who has quite a curvy build.)


Just one thing that stuck out like a sore thumb:

Sraping brownie crusts off of the side of the pan was good.

The thing about being fat was that you got used to it. You got used to having the extra rolls of flesh everywhere. It was just another part of life.

The thing about being fat is that you get used to it. You get used to having the extra rolls of flesh everywhere. It's just another part of life.

Because that was the way you were, and maybe curling up on the couch with a Shakespeare play and a candy bar was so much more enjoyable than running five miles.

T'was good, though I will say this one more time: YOU ARE NOT FAT AT ALL!!! I mean, seriously, if you're fat, then I'm scared of what I must be. One little thing no one else nitpicked:

You wanted to drown yourself in the chocolate, the cookies, the chips, just to show everyone how much of a crap you didn't give.

I really like this~ I can't really find anything to nitpick about that those who have reviewed already haven't nitpicked about, so yay~

I'm giving you a gold star. :D

Ah ^_^ I like this piece a lot!

I thought it was one of them complainy pieces of writing, but then it turned out to be quite different - which is very nice. I like it, well done.

Also, I don't have any nitpicks about spelling or punctuation and all that. This isn't exactly a proper review but I just felt the need to mention that I think this is a good piece of writing!

*gives gold star*

XxxDo

Twin ~ I need the italics because I want emphasis on the you. Which, of course, is the whole purpose for italicizing it. And only one gold star? Nuh-uh. *Steals Twin's gold stars*

Dudette ~ Thanks! That really means a lot.

'Kay so nitpicks! As usual Comments are in caps...

Explosive_Pen wrote:I stared at myself in the mirror, watching my thighs, my stomach, my arms, my DELETE THE MY everything jiggle. The thing about being fat was that you got used to it. You got THE YOU GOT IS REDUNDANT...I'M NOT SURE HOW TO FIX IT SO PLAY AROUND WITH IT used to having the extra rolls of flesh everywhere. It was just another part of life. And every time you lost some weight, while everyone else noticed, you didn't. HM...THIS IS JUST MY OPINION BUT I'D WRITE THIS SENTENCE AS "AND EVERY TIME YOU LOST SOME WEIGHT EVERYONE ELSE NOTICED. YET, YOU DIDN'T...BUT THIS MIGHT JUST BE ME... Because after looking at yourself the same way each day, it was next to impossible imagining yourself anyway else. I DON'T LIKE THE WORDS ANYWAY ELSE...MAYBE USE ANY OTHER WAY?

I turned to the side, sighing heavily. My stomach rolled out, although I could see my ribs pushing through the thin skin. I wasn't fat fat. Ten pounds and I would be like those other girls, skin stretched tight around their calf muscles. But that was the problem. The other girls looked like that, and they wanted you DON'T ITALICIZE THE YOU... to look like that too. So when anyone told you that you could go without a pound or two, you wanted to rebel. You wanted to drown yourself in the chocolate, the cookies, the chips, just to show everyone how much of a crap you didn't give.

Because eating was good. Sitting on the couch with a bowl of ice cream in your lap was good. Sraping SILLY SPELLING MISTAKE HERE! SCRAPING! brownie crusts off of YOU DON'T NEED THE OF HERE the side of the pan was good. Feeling your legs burn in gym two minutes HAHA, 2 MINUTES?? MORE LIKE 5 OR 6 before everyone else's started to was good. DELETE THE STARTED TO And when all the other kids were outside, riding bikes or kicking soccer balls, and you were inside reading, well, that was good too. After eight years, you learned to love the lovehandles, the tummy, the arms, because they were a part of you. Though not always desirable, they made you, and you accepted that.

And when the skinny girls whispered about you, thinking that you couldn't hear, you just smiled. That was the way it was. Maybe it was your fault, and maybe you were lazy, but so be it. Because that was the way you were, and maybe curling up on the couch with a Shakespeare play and a candy bar was so much more enjoyable than running five miles.

I grinned at myself and threw on a pair of AGAIN, THIS MIGHT JUST BE ME, BUT I WOULD LIKE IT IF YOU SAID THE COLOR OF THE JEANS...LIKE MAYBE THREW ON A PAIR OF BLUE JEANS? jeans and a t-shirt, loving the pale face and broad body in the mirror.

Hey =]

Aww this piece made me smile. At first i thought it was going to be another - "i hate myself, why can't i be perfect," piece, but you managed to surprise me and turn it into something really different. The whole message of the piece is heart warming and positive. "You should love yourself for who you are and if others don't like it then screw them!"

Loved it!

Gold star =]

xDudettex