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Re: wounded part 2 (plz comment)
The biggest thing I noticed was the spelling mistakes. Here's the list of misspelled words: O - Oh Dam - Damn Strait - Straight Say's - Says ... its not ...
Feb 24, 2010 -
Re: Petals of Iris - Prologue[EDIT]
First of all, I'd like to say that I am also trying out a fantasy story for the first time and it is indeed hard. What I noticed about your ...
Feb 24, 2010 -
Re: wounded part 1 (plz comment
Will this be a continuing story? If so, I'd be glad to read and edit the next one. There was a couple spelling mistakes, "Specs" = specks. "Thru" = through ...
Feb 23, 2010 -
Re: The Question
This is the best short story I've read on this site so far. From beginning to end I was completely engrossed. And I love the way you ended it, very ...
Feb 20, 2010 -
Re: Mentally Complicated [Part 2; First draft]
This is quite a different type of writing than I'm use to. It captures the humor of the teen( and ultimately, you) very well. There was only a few mistakes ...
Feb 20, 2010 -
Re: The City of Elementals, Chapter 5
Amazing! The only thing that could be corrected is that in the beginning you used the word nervous a lot. Here are some sentences that I have refined just as ...
Feb 20, 2010 -
Re: La luna e Bella (Lex & Cassie) chap 1
Wow, this story is great. I've even tried reading the twilight books and wasn't that interested. I suppose because it seems more grown up and more dark. I can say ...
Feb 18, 2010 -
Re: No name yet!
I'd like to first start off by saying that romance stories are not my area of expertise. Well, honestly I have no "area of expertise" but Romance would definitely be ...
Feb 18, 2010 -
Re: Wonderful
Like Stella said, the space before each dialogue was really irking me. Ha ha. Looks like your previous reviewer got pretty much everything. It was real good for a first ...
Apr 1, 2008 -
Re: Strangers in the fog part 3
Alright, here we go. :smt077 The room was cold, the digital fire, nothing more than hot coals by now. Try this: The room was cold and the fire nothing more ...
Apr 1, 2008 -
Re: Strangers in the fog part 1
Okay, it looks like you fixed a lot of things you were criticized on before so thats good. Let me just point out a few thing that still need some ...
Apr 1, 2008 -
Re: Welcome to Miami: Chapter 2. [Revised and Rewritten!]
Definitely add a divider between each part, it threw me off the first time i read it. Just a few mistakes: "But truth is? I like his shyness..." You don't ...
Apr 1, 2008 -
Re: Strangers in the fog part 4
This isn't a review for just this piece. I just wanted to say that their are a lot of Sector 33 stories listed by you and maybe you should write ...
Apr 1, 2008 -
Re: A Cutter's Dread
That was a wonderful poem. The only thing I would change would be the sentence: "Hope anew comes, " to maybe "Hope comes anew" just so it wont sound so ...
Mar 31, 2008 -
Re: 1. Cat
Dang, real great work. My only criticism is probably not important but... heck, I will say it anyway. The cat gave him an irritated look and stalked halfway across the ...
Mar 31, 2008
