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tRiCk

  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: wounded part 2 (plz comment)

    The biggest thing I noticed was the spelling mistakes. Here's the list of misspelled words: O - Oh Dam - Damn Strait - Straight Say's - Says ... its not ...

    Feb 24, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Petals of Iris - Prologue[EDIT]

    First of all, I'd like to say that I am also trying out a fantasy story for the first time and it is indeed hard. What I noticed about your ...

    Feb 24, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: wounded part 1 (plz comment

    Will this be a continuing story? If so, I'd be glad to read and edit the next one. There was a couple spelling mistakes, "Specs" = specks. "Thru" = through ...

    Feb 23, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: The Question

    This is the best short story I've read on this site so far. From beginning to end I was completely engrossed. And I love the way you ended it, very ...

    Feb 20, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Mentally Complicated [Part 2; First draft]

    This is quite a different type of writing than I'm use to. It captures the humor of the teen( and ultimately, you) very well. There was only a few mistakes ...

    Feb 20, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: The City of Elementals, Chapter 5

    Amazing! The only thing that could be corrected is that in the beginning you used the word nervous a lot. Here are some sentences that I have refined just as ...

    Feb 20, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: La luna e Bella (Lex & Cassie) chap 1

    Wow, this story is great. I've even tried reading the twilight books and wasn't that interested. I suppose because it seems more grown up and more dark. I can say ...

    Feb 18, 2010
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: No name yet!

    I'd like to first start off by saying that romance stories are not my area of expertise. Well, honestly I have no "area of expertise" but Romance would definitely be ...

    Feb 18, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Wonderful

    Like Stella said, the space before each dialogue was really irking me. Ha ha. Looks like your previous reviewer got pretty much everything. It was real good for a first ...

    Apr 1, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, General Re: Strangers in the fog part 3

    Alright, here we go. :smt077 The room was cold, the digital fire, nothing more than hot coals by now. Try this: The room was cold and the fire nothing more ...

    Apr 1, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, General Re: Strangers in the fog part 1

    Okay, it looks like you fixed a lot of things you were criticized on before so thats good. Let me just point out a few thing that still need some ...

    Apr 1, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Welcome to Miami: Chapter 2. [Revised and Rewritten!]

    Definitely add a divider between each part, it threw me off the first time i read it. Just a few mistakes: "But truth is? I like his shyness..." You don't ...

    Apr 1, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, General Re: Strangers in the fog part 4

    This isn't a review for just this piece. I just wanted to say that their are a lot of Sector 33 stories listed by you and maybe you should write ...

    Apr 1, 2008
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: A Cutter's Dread

    That was a wonderful poem. The only thing I would change would be the sentence: "Hope anew comes, " to maybe "Hope comes anew" just so it wont sound so ...

    Mar 31, 2008
  • Short Story » General, General Re: 1. Cat

    Dang, real great work. My only criticism is probably not important but... heck, I will say it anyway. The cat gave him an irritated look and stalked halfway across the ...

    Mar 31, 2008


You know how hard it is to feel like an extreme falcon-headed combat machine when somebody calls you "chicken man"?
— Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid