sylverdawn

First off really well done. I like the way you make things flow from one thing to the next, I know it can be difficult, I've got a problem with ...

It's actually a pretty interesting beginning the prologue is something else it makes you think that your breaking from the mold here as it were, the main character is no ...

It's very interesting, the culture is very developed and intrigueing it feels very real. I'l definetly continue to read this series. Although you should maybe show some of Drake's memories ...

A really intriguing beginning It makes me want to read more, just one thing. You should focus a bit more on the main character. You don't really connect with her ...

This seems like a really good book, but it doesn't really feel like a beginning to me, the situation is too developed. Start from an earlier point maybe explain who ...

This is really well done, you connect with the girl, Megan. I get the feeling that she's already given up on life, but she still doesn't want to die. It's ...

It needs a bit more work, as a prologue you should drop a few more hints, who are these people why did someone betray them, what are they running, overall ...

i'm confused about who the main character is here, Anne or Adelaide. The two seem like they could be friends if their stations weren't so far apart. I get that ...

You've done a really good job setting the time period. It makes me feel like I'm standing in a different Era. I like how the main character is spirited and ...

I like how the story's going but I'm having a trouble connecting with the main character. She just seems so shallow to me. Work on her personality more, like maybe ...

overall I think this has potential. It seems like a typical party scene, a bit too much emphasis on the throwing up. But other then that really good description. I ...

Nice. It seems like an interesting prologue but you should try to clear a few things up. For one why is such an important job given to a sixteen year ...

it seems like a great prologue but it leaves a lot of questions, who are the boys? how did one of them get so badly hurt? What's the voice in ...

it's very interesting, but the descriptions seem a bit too detailed, and their should be more emphasis on the letter. I mean, they way it's written, it's something from blood ...

it sounds like a really interesting story, it feels like the kind of plot to draw you in. I would suggest portraying their emotions more, don't worry that's a problem ...