Young Writers Society

Hiya, I'm here, as requested :) This is a very good start, I think. Obviously there are some mistakes you need to go backand review, as theotherone and murtuza have ...

Hai there I did enjoy this, and I can really relate to it, which is always a great compliment for any literary work. There are a few mistakes though, that ...

Hai there! I really liked your poem. It was very well written and I loved loved loved the idea. It flowed very well and it kept my attention throught the ...

Hai there :D So first off, I'd like to say I enjoyed this for the most part. It had a great idea, although I think I should point a few ...

Hi there! First off, I really liked this, it was very deep and, of course, twisted, but you didn't over do it and it is very well written. I usually ...

Hi there! I really enjoyed this, it was very well written and the emotion was clear throughout the whole thing. This is a bit nit-picky, but I couldn't find anything ...

Hi there! Like a few people have already mentioned, stopping at the end of each sentence can be quite annoying and confusing to the reader, so try to avoid it ...

I love this so much! I can tell just by reading this that you are gonig to be a great daddy one day! I have absolutely nothing bad to say ...

I absolutely loved this! You really don't need to change it, it's awesome the way it is! One minor thing though, like kafkaescense said, the line, "shadows pass me by", ...

I loved this! I thought it was really well put together and I liked the rhymes and there was nice imagrey. I think it flowed nicely and I just really ...

Wow. I really enjoyed this! It really expressed how one person would do anything for the other, and their love for them. Now for the very few nit-picks I have ...

wow! Awesome sauce! I like this a lot. Very deep and plenty dark, but I like it! I love how you didn't let the rhyming in this suck the rest ...

It's a good idea, but I feel like it's dry of rhythm and emotion. Like Dragonlover92 said, pay attention to those thing s instead of letting your focus on the ...

This is interesting. I also agree that the ending isn't as strong as I'd like it to be, but it's really creative. Very intruiging, but it feels like there should ...

This is sad, but I guess it's supposed to be haha. :) It's really creative, and it caught my attention. It's short, but it gives everything you need to know. ...