stargazer9927

Okay that helped clear a lot of things up:) But I still say you need to attach them together. I'm torn with the parody thing. Because it sounds a little ...

Okay first things first. "and princesses never cut their hair." Missed a capital " It's probably enchanted." Hazel thought. You put an extra space there "I shall treat her like ...

I thought it was a well put together and thought out story and you did a great job with putting yourself in this girl's shoes. But I think you jumped ...

This book is very interesting. I like to write about average people facing hard problems too, even more than I like to write fantasy. It seems like fantasy, science fiction, ...

I'm not a huge fan of Twilight (I read the first two and a half books and then I was ready to drop dead from bordom) but I think this ...

I think it sounds like a fairly interesting story. But why did you change perpectives after the introduction? I guess I understand it was just the introduction so you put ...

It doesn't sound like you wrote it late at night. I like it. And it doesn't really sound emo. All teenagers want to vanish off the face of the earth ...

Okay I'm sure you're tired of hearing from me by now, but this is the last one I promise. If I would have known you had all of it in ...

Wow this was even better than the Prologue. But might I suggest getting rid of either the prologue or the first part of this story because there's no point in ...

I hate commenting on recent additions all the time because I know it drives me nuts when I get a couple of comments when I first post it and then ...

I love the creativity in this short story and the lauguage that's used. The idea was great and you did a great job with developing it. As far as grammer ...

I think it's a very cool story and has a lot of detail to it. But I'm having a hard time seeing it as a short story. I think this ...

This was quite interesting, but I liked it. It really brings to my attention all the bully problems and some people out there that sadly just don't have any friends. ...

This was a really good piece. But I'm not really sure if it was supposed to be a story or a little clip of a story. Or maybe just a ...

Okay so if this kid is supposed to be a third grader why does he sound so much like a Junior High schoolar? When I was in third grade we ...