sparkle8744

Wow, this is really good. You did a fantastic job of grasping the readers attention. You also went into detail, but you may want to go into more detail so ...

Hello!!! I wont bore you with more grammatical stuff because it looks like that's already been covered, but I do have a few pointers. Here we go!! 1.) When it ...

This is a very good start to a story. I love the tone, but your moving a little too fast. You need to spend more time on details, I believe. ...

Hello! I'll be reviewing your story today! This story is very good for several reasons. 1.) You can definitely feel the emotions between the couple. 2.) You can vividly imagine ...

I like the story line, but I do feel that there are some things that can change. The first part would be is that you jump right in to them ...

This is very good! I would only do a couple of things diffrent. Describe maybe how she got pregnant, very briefly of course, and also maybe describe how the baby ...

This is SO creative and amazing! I could never have thought of this idea. It's also one of my favorite songs! The way you add some of the lyrics in ...

It looks like people got all of the grammatical mistakes, so I wont repeat them. I loved this story because it has twists and throughly explains the life of a ...

This is a very good story, but I think you need to add more to the story than dialogue. The story line is fantastic, but you need to let the ...

I loved this story! It's amazing so far. There are several grammer mistakes, but it seems like every one else pretty much covered them, so I won't bore you. This ...

This is very good. The description really hooked me to the story. The way you wrote made it sound beautiful. The ending is the most powerful part of the story, ...

This is a good start to a story. I like the way you used description to make it more vivid in the readers mind. That's really important. Also the way ...

Hello there! This is a really good start to a story. Will seems very handsome and intellegint. I would say to be a bit more descriptive. Maybe talk about how ...

This is a very nice start to a good story. I think you can do a little bit more to it to make it better. I would advise that you ...

This is very intresting. I think it might be better though if you added a paragraph or so. I was a tad bit confused as I read it, but it ...