The roar of the nearby crowd overwhelmed Kyle Stone’s senses; it was going to be a long night. Even though he’d been touring the country, singing his suicidal lyrics paired with upbeat tunes with Dead Matter for a few weeks now… he just couldn’t get over the size of the crowd they drew. Kyle sat on a stool, staring at his reflection. He brushed his shoulder-length, straight, dark brown hair behind him, as he thought about some of the girls that would be waiting for him and the rest of Dead Matter after the show. For some reason, tonight he felt nervous, like something unexpected was going to happen. He’d had these feelings before though, and nothing had happened but somehow, it felt different. Rolling his eyes he began to lip sync the words to the songs he would be singing tonight, just to make sure he knew them all.
At the end of his little profermace to his own reflection, he blew a kiss at it, picturing it to be a very pretty girl. He laughed, it was intended to ease tension but the almost maniacal sound of it just made him tense even more. Just at that moment, the crowd’s sudden roaring almost shook his dressing room, when the announcer’s deep masculine voice told of the soon arrival of the band. Trying to calm his fears he started to hurry out the door, but not before throwing down three pills of a prescription bottle that said “take one daily”.
Once outside his little dressing room that was not much more than a dinky trailer, screams from the crowd hit him like a slap in the face. Dazed, he waved half-heartily and staggered to where he saw the band warming up. Jake was using all the energy his ADD could give him to smash his drumsticks against the ten-thousand dollar drum set as hard (and fast) as he could; His shirt already off and his tattooed chest slathered with sweat.
“Hey K,” he called to Kyle while attempting to do some tricks with the drumsticks but ending up hitting one of the roadies in the head. Jake was always good for a laugh. Over to the other side was Zach, somehow tuning his prized Stratocaster and snorting some little white powder at the same time.
“Want some?” he asked with his eyes rolled up in their sockets as he resurfaced from the white cloud of cocaine. It was a tempting offer but he didn’t take any, not wanting to need it like Zach did.
Alone in the corner with his bass was Travis, softly and tunelessly whistling while strumming a few chords, and smoking a cigarette. In Kyle’s opinion Travis was a weird guy, always the odd one out. Always quiet and introverted. A lot of the girls went nuts over him although he didn’t see what was to like. Travis always seemed to have a scowl on his face, even when he was happy the edges of his lips turned down. Kyle knew that he had been homeless for almost a year after his dad threw him out of his house before Jake met him and discovered his awesome talent for the bass. Why his dad had thrown him out, though, was a mystery.
“You’re going on in three minutes!” crankily shouted the roadie that had been hit with the drumstick. Jake stopped playing and rested for a moment, looking satisfied with his practicing and completely relaxed. Zach sniffed the last remnants of his pile of what he called “white gold”, his eye was beginning to twitch again and Kyle hoped he wouldn’t die on the stage of a heart attack. That would just kill the show! Travis began muttering to himself; getting to his feet, he stood off to the side looking distant. The concert was about to begin and Kyle couldn’t shake the horrible churning of his stomach and the sinking feeling that something awful was going to happen. The show must go on and as the curtain rose, Kyle strode over to the microphone and screamed out “HELLOOOOO NEBRASKA!”
It looks like people got all of the grammatical mistakes, so I wont repeat them. I loved this story because it has twists and throughly explains the life of a rockstar. The description is also very nice and I can clearly picture this story so far in my mind. You have a great story going and I would love to read more. PM me!
Sparkle
I just finished reading your first chapter. I'm so sorry for been critical, i'm not this mean but i think when people write they should hear the truth. Before you think what does she know, well not too much but I read, a lot which doesn't make me an expert. Anyway, I was really looking forward to your story then I read the first line and it was very very cringey. Maybe that's what you were going for but to me it made me want to stop but i persisted.
(alt +q)The roar of the nearby crowd overwhelmed Kyle Stone’s senses; it was going to be a long night.
Hey there! I just read this and thought I'd leave you a little something before I went to go read your other chapter.
First off, I really liked where you were going with this. I liked the way you wrote it and I even liked your MC. (I got a soft spot for the cute egotistical guys) 
I didn't think you really did that much of an info dump...you just explained without a lot happening. If you had made your chapter a tad longer or maybe even put a flash-back in there it wouldn't feel quite so info dumpy.
On the drug thing, I didn't see a problem with it. Its realistic. Also if they are long time users (as I am thinking they are) then they would take it lightly, or at the very least be use to it. You can't make a big deal about something if your MC doesn't see it as a big deal. So good job! 
There's not much else to say unfortunately. I liked it, I thought you did well with the writing, a tad short, and I can't wait to read more!
Off to read your other chapter! 
Hello Moonlight. Honestly, I'm not in the mood for nitpicks, but I did read through the piece and there were a few things I wanted to say about it.
One, your punctuation. You said something about being bad at proofreading above, and that's understandable. You're just missing commas and have some run-on sentences. Those are easy to fix. I would suggest reading more. The examples will eventually become second nature in your own writing.
Two, all the telling. You give us a whole lot of information in this short piece. In fact, not much happens. Your MC goes to find the band from his dressing room, and then it's all an information dump after that. Who's who, who's like what, who does what, who's from where. It got tiresome. Give us more of the story, and slowly tell us about your characters.
Three, the setting. I'd like to know more about it. Is there smoke in the air? Is it thick with the smell of cocaine? Is it dark? Just more so that the reader can picture more.
And that's it. I'm tired, so I'm having trouble thinking right now. I hope I helped, and I wish you the best of luck with both your writing and your editing.
KJ
Ok, let's get this straightened out. *cracks knuckles*
#1 sorry i made the drug addiction too causal, it was just supposed to be how a real rock star would see it
#2 The mistakes were rampant, sorry about that I have proof reading issues.
I posted the next chapter... this one is from the girl's side of the story, Lucy. My story is going to go back and forth between Kyle and her. (They'll meet in a few chapters don't worry) Thanks for all the feedback.
The roar of the nearby crowd overwhelmed Kyle Stone’s senses;
singing his suicide but somehow upbeat songs
He’d had these feelings before though, and nothing had happened.
At the end of his little performance to his own reflection
he blew a kiss at it, picturing it to be a very pretty girl.
when the announcer’s deep masculine voice told of the soon arrival of the band.
Once outside his little dressing room that was not much more than a dinky trailer,
...as hard and fast as he could;
not wanting to need it like Zach did.
I don't think the band's drug addiction is creepy. It fits the style. It just shows they're amatures still. Anywho, I think we do get a glimpse into what Kyle is thinking. You know, I keep thinking about what could happen next. Like, Kyle falling in love with Travis's new girlfriend, [who changes him into a happy, and better person who does not mutter like that to himself] and everything being turned around. By the way, he must be pretty soft in the head if he goes on tours like that with those people, smoking drugs and taking unsafe pills. Maybe someone *cough girl cough* needs to open his eyes and teach him a lesson. Pm me when you post another chapter!! This was really nice, and I really want to see what's next!
This isn't all of chapter one, is it?
Either way, you had a few mistakes here and there like:
profamace should be performance and others that I'm sure you'd find if you went back.
This is a little short to me, to be a full chapter. We hardly get a glimpse at what Kyle is feeling. Not to mention the band's drug addiction is a little...creepy. I think you should explain things in more detail. And if there is a girl involved in this story, it's best to introduce her in the first chapter as to build up suspense, you know?
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