rhiasofia

That's good. Thanks, it definitely takes some patience at the very least.

Hey, I'm good, you? yeah, those first few were referring to the ideas of the subject, so his mind was "like a puzzle". I might try to find a way ...

Sorry for being snippy :(. I regret it. I'm just a very argumentative person who likes to have her point made.

This is awesome, and I love it.

Thank you! Oof, that was just a typo, thanks for catching it. I'll change that ASAP :)

Okay, I can get where you're coming from with saying that the third person omniscient doesn't allow the reader to feel a particular amount of empathy for the subject, but ...

Aww, thanks so much. You definitely got exactly what I was trying to convey :). I really appreciate the compliments, and I am glad you liked it!

Well, I'm really glad that it did. Hearing that kind of compliment is the best thing any writer can wish to hear :)

Thanks so much!

Oh. My. God. THANK YOU! That was so much and I'm practically on the verge of tears to think that anyone could like anything I've written that much and say ...

Thanks! The clipped effect was being used to mock drowning, and it's much more noticeable in the way I have it formatted on my blog (missmetaphorical.blogspot.com, in case you were ...

Thanks, I changed the italicized word like you proposed, I think it does look better like that :)

Thanks! Yeah, I've been thinking of changing one of the "rain"s to something else or changing it to "bitter, acid rain" but I can't decide yet :)

You are free to quote it, may I ask which bit you're quoting out of curiosity, though? Thanks so much for all the positivity, I'm really glad you liked it ...

Thanks!