rachellecarter

This was really cool! I liked the way it flowed. But its really short. I suggest making it longer. That's really all. I liked that it didn't have a rhyming ...

Thanks! I'm sure that if you read the first 5 chapters Derek will seem a lot more humble.

Thanks for the review! I appreciate that you wrote such a long one! I agree, I am not good at showing not telling. I am trying to work on it, ...

Wow! This looks great! Good job! I definitely like this new format you put it in. I like the way your poem flows. It is a lot better now! Congrats!

I meant that I didn't like that the transition wasn't good. I like the whole story overall. I should have explained myself. Sorry. :|

No problem. Tell me if/when you edit it.

Oh and by the way, I loved the line "That means absolutely nothing to me." XD It made me laugh because I say that all the time! :D

Thanks! I will try to work on it! I'm mostly trying to get it done so I can think about something else for once. There is no rest for a ...

You're welcome!

It was just not a very strong ending. If you changed it to something else, I think it would make the ending more memorable. You did use a lot of ...

I did tell you ways to improve. Make it longer. Hunt for the weak words that are detracting from the overall poem, like a word as simple as "darkness". I'm ...

It was good, don't get me wrong. But I'm a sucker for dramatic writing, and I would like to see this improve.

Keep the same idea, just make it more dramatic. You didn't say the word Procrastinate in the poem, but in the title. The title is great, and that is how ...

I loved this poem. It described my life. But here's the thing, I didn't like the way the procrastination was so vague. If you want it to be dramatic, make ...

Thanks for the input. I know the king seems weak, but he's not a main character so I don't think it matters. Also, in the time period the story takes ...