Prince Derek and the Road to Nothyng Chapters 6 & 7

I have two questions that I would like to have answered in the reviews if you wouldn't mind. Please remember that this is for 6-10 year olds.

1) Is this too dark for a children's book? I try to make in interesting, but it shouldn't be dark or scary.

2) On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being crazy bad and 10 being crazy good) what quality is my writing?

Chapter Six

“Aunt Lucy!” Derek cried. John had lowered his sword and turned towards Derek. He looked puzzled for a moment, then surprised, and then humbled. He went to one knee and bowed down.

“Prince Derek, I beg your forgiveness. I didn’t realize… I thought you were… I… I…” John ranted, his eyes filled with fear. Derek stared at the man. He shook his head.

“Let’s never speak of this again.” Derek said, “And let’s hope that the cut you gave me doesn’t scar.” Derek walked to Lucy and stared at her in silence. She placed a hand on his cheek and then grabbed his arm. She studied the wound for a long moment.

“Come back to my cottage, Derek.” She said. She turned and mounted her horse, and immediately rode into the forest, towards her modest home. Derek followed, riding Keagan slowly. The blood soaked cloth on Derek’s arm stuck around the wound. Derek entered the yard in front of the cottage and Sierra ran out of the house.

“Derek!” She yelled, “Are you alright?” She ran to his side and helped him off of his horse. She inspected his arm and gasp at the sight of so much blood. “We need to clean this.” She dragged him inside and made him sit on the only chair in the front room. She rushed into the small kitchen and returned with a bottle of clear fluid and a rag.

“Do you think that this will help?” Derek asked. Sierra nodded firmly and poured the fluid on the rag. Derek stared at the rag in her hand as she rolled up his blood soaked sleeve just enough to reveal the wound. Her hand shook as she lifted the rag. As she placed it gently on the cut, Derek yelled out in pain. Sierra winced as he did.

“Sorry.” She whispered.

“It’s fine. Please, finish.” Derek insisted. His let his teeth grind against each other as she rubbed the rag across the long wound. He breathed deeply, but they came out more as gasps rather than ordinary breaths.

“I think we are finished, now.” Sierra finally said. Derek relaxed as the sharp stings finally eased. Sierra pulled out a length of fabric and tightly wrapped it on Derek’s arm.

“Thanks, Sierra.” Derek said. He looked up and saw Lucy standing in the doorway. She walked over to Derek and stared at him. She stared at him in silence for what seemed like a long time.

“Why didn’t the guard recognize you?” She asked.

“It has been a while.” Derek said, “I was shorter six months ago and my hair was shorter. I was pale.” Derek explained all of the things that might have changed in six months. Lucy said nothing as he spoke. She seemed a lot more relaxed than she had been earlier. She looked weak from sickness though.

“That guard was ridiculous.” She muttered.

“Why did you follow me?” Derek said.

“If I know my sister, she wouldn’t have let you leave without more than enough money. I knew that you could never explain having that much.” She spoke slowly. Her head was bent down to look Derek right in the eye. It was the same look that his mother gave him when something was very serious. “Derek, may I speak with you outside please?” She walked out the door. Derek stood and followed her.

“Yes, Aunt Lucy?” Derek stood with his back against the door. Lucy paced across the dirt path leading to the house.

“Derek, I don’t think I can hide this much longer. I have been ill for a long time and I am only getting worse.” She paused for a moment, “I know that this is a lot to place on a twelve year old. I couldn’t bear to place this burden on my daughter. I need to keep her away until I recover.” She paused again, worry was evident on her face.

“What do you want me to do?” Derek asked, taken aback by the sudden news.

“Can you guarantee that Sierra will always have a home at the castle with your family?” She walked right up to Derek and grabbed his shoulders, “Can you Derek?”

“Of course. She will always be welcome.” Derek insisted. Lucy melted into Derek’s arms and sobbed fiercely. After she had calmed down, she stood up straight and sighed.

“Thank you, Derek.” She said.

“Do you want me to take Sierra now?”

“Yes. That would be best.” Lucy whispered, “Then she won’t be in danger any longer. If she got sick I do not know what would happen.”

“What made you change your mind?” Derek asked. Lucy stared at him and offered a slight smile.

“Anyone who can take on a man twice his size and almost win can take care of my daughter.” Lucy said with a smile. Derek chuckled.

“I assure you she will be safe while we travel to the castle.” Derek said.

Chapter Seven

“Sierra, do you want to go to the castle?” Lucy asked her daughter as they stood in the front room.

“Oh, yes mother. I would love to visit the castle.” Sierra said happily. Lucy smiled sadly.

“Then you must go with Derek.” She sighed. Lucy looked at Derek and then back to Sierra. “You will stay with him until I recover from my illness.”

“When will we be leaving?” Sierra asked.

“We must leave tomorrow at dawn.” Derek said.

“That is barely enough time to pack.” Sierra complained, “How am I going to be ready on time?”

“Everything will be provided at the castle.” Derek replied, “You don’t have to bring anything.” Sierra nodded. She walked into the kitchen and prepared a light stew with carrots and potatoes. She was silent for a long time. After dinner, Derek walked outside to give Sierra and her mother time to say goodbye. They wouldn’t have much time in the morning. He looked in the window and saw Sierra fall into her mother’s arms.Derek sighed.

“Keagan,” Derek called. He clicked and the horse walked from where he was grazing over to Derek. Derek didn’t bother to put on a saddle; he just jumped on and grabbed the horse’s mane. He kicked the horse and let him run into the nearby woods. There was no path and the run was hard. There were several times that Keagan jumped over a bush or fallen tree. The sun was beginning to set and Derek slowed the horse to a stop. He was facing west, and the sun was shining directly in his eyes. He heard a branch snap in the distance. His head whipped in the direction of the sound. Without warning, an arrow shot through the woods and planted itself into a tree only a foot from where Derek was. He reached out and grabbed the arrow. A piece of paper was rolled around the arrow and tied with a string. As Derek unraveled it, his heart began to pound.

It read:

Prince Derek,

The woods can be a dangerous place.

You never should have left your castle.

We will make you pay for what you

have done to us.

Derek breathed in deeply. He kicked Keagan and turned the horse around. He didn’t let his horse slow until they had returned to the cottage. Sierra was sitting alone on a log, staring into the woods.

“Sierra,” Derek warned. His tone was more serious than it had ever been with her, “You need to go inside the house. Don’t leave it unless I am with you, alright?” He stared at her, his eyes full of panic.

“Alright,” She was obviously confused, “What’s wrong?” Derek said nothing. He lifted her to her feet and led her inside the house. He shut the door firmly and slid a chair in front of it. He slid a chair from the kitchen into the front room and sat down. He grabbed his sword and laid it across his knees. He pulled out a small throwing knife that he kept in his boot for fun, grateful that he had been cautious and brought it. He began sharpening it on a rock. The sun had set long ago, yet Derek still sat in the chair. He fell asleep with his sword in his hand.

Morning came all too soon and Derek woke up sore and stiff. As he stretched, Sierra grabbed some fruit, cheese, and bread and put it in a basket. Derek grabbed his sword and attached it to his belt. His knife returned to his boot and Derek walked outside. He threw a saddle on Keagan quickly and returned to the house.

‘Sierra, we really must go.” Derek said. He planned on taking an alternate path back to the castle. It added two miles to the trip, but kept them out of the woods. It would take them nearly all day to get to the castle. Sierra turned to her mother and threw her arms around her.

“Goodbye mother!” She cried. They stood in an embrace for a moment and Lucy finally let go.

“Goodbye, my dear. I am sure that you will have a wonderful time at the castle.” Lucy turned to Derek and held out a piece of paper. “Please give this to my sister. I know that she never had a lot of time, being the Queen and all… I just wanted to apologize to her.” Derek took the letter and slid it into his vest, as he had with the other letter. Derek outstretched his hand.

“Thank you for letting me take Sierra to the castle” Derek said, “I will bring her back soon.”

“Take care of her, Derek.” Lucy said, “I will write you when I am healed.” Derek nodded with a smile and mounted Keagan. He pulled Sierra up by the hand and she wrapped her arms around his waist.

“Goodbye, Lucy. We will see you soon.” Derek said. As the rode off, Sierra looked back to she her mother waving.