prolixity

Haha, okay. Thanks! c:

I messed up the bolding. :c Sorry.

That all makes a lot of sense, so thank you. I'll work on revising this and let you know when I post a new version, if you wouldn't mind looking ...

Thanks for the suggestions, but I chose not to use commas. A stylistic choice. Thanks anyway!

Thanks for all the great tips! It's interesting you read it as multiple scenes; I only meant it to be the flashback and then the present for the last two ...

Hey, thanks, glad you liked it! I'm not sure what to think of it to be honest. And interesting you compared it to Hemingway... uck. I have yet to figure ...

Oh dear, sorry about the icy blue eyes... I realized that when I read the fourth chapter. Although that may actually work with Missy, since you're portraying her as a ...

Aw, thanks, glad I could help. c: Sure, you can describe them. You just have to be careful. Think about your favorite books/short stories and see how much description those ...

Haha, my dad is the person who told me to read Slaughterhouse-Five . But yeah, definitely start with that one. It's about WWII, and aliens, and a porn star... it's ...

*semicolon's Sorry, my grammar corrections have grammatical errors... XD

Thanks! :)

No, not based on a real situation, unless you count the fact my uncle salts his watermelon, haha. I started out with punctuation and capitalization, but I ended up not ...

Thanks for the great review! Very helpful. :D

Thanks! :)

Thank you. :D