peanut19

Hi Lukan I'm peanut. So here goes: I'm going to assume this is a prologue, but if it wasn't it's a little short. This might have just been a typo ...

Mandorelute, this is not bad. But in my opinion the Roman Numerals aren't needed they are extra and you can get your point across without them. Is this an essay? ...

Cee, I didn't see anything that was really wrong with this. It was very interesting to read. I have never read anything in 2nd person, other than instructions and would ...

Jon, awesome. I could actually get what it is saying, unlike some poetry when I, some one who knows nothing, am utterly confused. Good job. I also don't know if ...

Okay, Eve. I liked how you retold what I was wondering about in the beginning: what happened earlier that night. But it didn't seem like a dream. I don't know ...

We work for our children, to but buy them clothes, food, etc. the etc doesn't belong here try: and anything else they want or something along those lines and in ...

Poem, This is good. I can imagine the fall scenery but I don't know what the girl looks like or the mill house, not really. It would make it longer ...

Hi Tuna. I'm going to review your story today. So here goes. I didn't really see anything wrong with it grammatically. I shatter the wooden door with barely a push. ...

I'm not great at poetry but the fact that there is no punctuation caught my eye. I know that with poetry punctuation is used differently but you should probably have ...

Hi Quill welcome to the YWS family! I read your story, obviously, and I though it was okay. I didn't really know much about your character. Is it a boy ...

Hi I'm peanut. So here goes. I can't really go into too much detail but from what I saw you changed you tense a lot. At the beginning it was ...

Shina, the imagery in this story is fantastic. I could picture it clearly. But one aspect of the story confused me. If Aysel opposed of magical creatures so much that ...

Emma, this was a good piece a bit short but it showed all it needed to. I like the concept of a boy from the dungeons being important to the ...

If you like paranormal-ish mystery ( I just made that category up) I highly recommend The Blue is for Nightmares series by Laurie Stolarz. Or if you like vampire books ...

Loveless, this was a good start. I could feel you character's emotions. I could hear the children running and laughing, hear the adults half-panicked cries of distress to stay away ...