A Better Mother

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.

First Impression: This was a really sweet little story and wow was it good at really going for the feels. You did such a wonderful job in describing how the mother and the daughter interacted and I could just imagine how it all played out and very easily feel how this mother must have been feeling as she came to the realizations that she did. I also love how the whole thing is based on such a simple incident, it makes it just so much more effective in my opinion.

Anyway let's get right to it,

We work for our children, to buy them clothes, food and other things in return. We want to be appreciated. But we often forget that it is no favor we do to our children by earning for them. It is our duty.

We often go through many trivial incidents when our children prove to be much more understanding, sensible and mature than us.

Ten years back, I was just a mere worker in a company. My daughter was just five then. I was a workaholic; I felt that my career should be my first priority. At least, that’s what I thought a single parent should really emphasize on. I would work for more than eight hours a day and prepare presentations and documents at home too. I was progressing really quickly. I was young and efficient. I tried to save every penny I could, all for my daughter. She was what I lived for and whom I laughed with. She hardly demanded anything; she was very selfless, though I didn’t realize it then. Even at such a tender age, she understood what all I had to go through and tried not to burden me anymore than how much I then was.

After I came home, she would, with a broad smile on her face, come and hug me. This would relieve me of all my day’s tension. She would tell me about her friends, her teachers, her school, prompting me to speak. I earned for her, loved her, but wasn’t able to show this to her. I, a foolish young bird then, was more indulged in self-pity while I should have been playing with her.None of her friends lived anywhere near our house. She was lonely like me. But it wasn’t her age to be lonely. But nor did I have the time to drop her to any of her friends’ house. And I wasn’t bothered much about it either.

One day, early in the morning, we went for a walk to the local market. All my change had been spent in buying milk and fruits. I was in a hurry. It was a weekday. My daughter was with me. I held her hand so that she would be able to cope up with my hurried pace. Suddenly, she stopped. I saw her looking into a sweet shop with bulging eyes.

“Mum, can I have this toffee? Just this one? it tastes so yummy!It is a limited edition toffee.” She was pointing at the nearest jar which was half-filled with red sweets. I didn’t have any change and nor did I have the time to go back and get some. I told her so. Trying her best to hide her disappointment, the poor creature nodded and we quietly walked back to our home. I quickly dressed up and left for work.

Throughout the way, I went on thinking of my daughter’s little wish, the only thing she had asked for in so many years. A limited edition toffee. I promised myself to buy it for her later in the evening.

I asked him when he would restock the sweets. He said,” sorry ma’am, they were the limited edition ones. They won’t be available now.”

My daughter’s eyes grew smaller and her wide smile quickly faded.

I picked her up, hugged her and bought her the pack of caramel candies she liked. She gave me a tight hug and thanked me.

We walked our way back home by a longer route. My work could wait. I bought all that my daughter looked at for longer than a glance, because I knew she would not ask me for anything.

That night I couldn’t sleep. Silent tears ran from my brimming eyes. I realized how lucky I was to have a daughter like her. She deserved a better mother.And she was going to have one.

thanks peanut for helping me correct my story. English isn't my native language and so i tend to make a lot of mistakes!
and please call me vrinda instead of baron (baron is my dog's name!).

We work for our children, to but buy them clothes, food, etc. the etc doesn't belong here try: and anything else they want or something along those linesand in return, we want to be appreciated. But we often forget that it is no favor we do to our children by earning for them. It is our duty. These last two sentences are worded oddly try to reword them so it has a better flow and is easier to understand

We often go across iinstead of across through might be the right word here many trivial incidents when our children prove to be much more understanding, sensible and mature than us.

Ten years back, I was just a mere worker in a company. My daughter was just five then. I was a workaholic; I felt that my career should be my first priority. At least, that’s what I thought a single parent should really emphasize on. I would work for more than eight hours a day and prepare presentations and documents at home too. I was progressing really quickly. I was young and efficient. I tried to save every penny I could, all for my daughter. She was what I lived for and whom I laughed with. She hardly demanded anything; she was very selfless, though I didn’t realize it then. Even at such a tender age, she understood what all I had to go through and tried not to burden me anymore than how much I then was.

After I came home, she would, with a broad smile on her face, come and hug me. This would relieve me of all my day’s tension. She would tell me about her friends, her teachers, her school, prompting me to speak. I earned for her, loved her, but wasn’t able to show this to her. I, a foolish young bird then, was more indulged in self-pity while I should have been playing with her.None of her friends lived anywhere near our house. She was lonely like me. But it wasn’t her age time? to be lonely. But nor did I have the time to drop her to any of her friends’ houses. You should put: she wasn't bothered by it..so it makes sense with the rest of the sentence And I wasn’t bothered much about it either.

One day, early in the morning, we went for a walk to the local market. All my change had been spent in buying milk and fruits. I was in a hurry. It was a weekday. My daughter was with me. I held her hand so that she would be able to cope keep up with my hurried pace. Suddenly, she stopped. I saw her looking into a sweet shop with bulging eyes.

“Mum, can I have this toffee? Just this one? It is a limited edition toffee.” If she was five she would have a different reason then it was a limited edition. She sounds older here She was pointing at the nearest jar which was half-filled with red sweets. I didn’t have any change and nor did I have the time to go back and get some. I told her so. Trying her best to hide her disappointment, the poor creature nodded and we quietly walked back to our home. I quickly dressed up and left for work.

Throughout the way, I went on thinking of my daughter’s little wish, the only thing she had asked for in so many years. A limited edition toffee. I promised myself to buy it for her later in the evening.

After I came back from work, I picked my daughter from home and we went to the toffee shop. My daughter excitedly asked the shopkeeper for what she wanted.

The shopkeeper, smiling, said “Ssorry, they are finished. Why don’t you but something else?”

I asked him when he would restock the sweets. He said,”Ssorry ma’am, they were the limited edition ones. They won’t be available now.”

My daughter’s eyes grew smaller and her wide smile quickly faded.

I felt ashamed of myself. I didn’t have the time to but my daughter a toffee.

I picked her up, hugged her and bought her the pack of caramel candies she liked. She gave me a tight hug and thanked me.

We walked our way back home by a longer route. My work could wait. I bought all that my daughter looked at for longer than a glance, because I knew she would not ask me for anything.

That night I couldn’t sleep. Silent tears ran from my brimming eyes. I realized how lucky I was to have a daughter like her. She deserved a better mother.And she was going to have one.