ofir

You have a few grammar mistakes - here: when you write "said" you should put a comma infront of it. "She smiled," he said. You put a dot there a ...

It had me laughing as soon as I realized the crisis at hand. Nice contradiction - very irregular. Loved it. This is very, very good. I enjoyed reading it a ...

I'm not sure what to make of this. There isn't much I can review, because the majority of this piece is from the bible itself. I thought it was a ...

It needs some editing, but I liked it very much, almost as much as the first! Brilliant writing style. I love where this is going with the plot! Ma seems ...

I love it. Honestly. You managed to make the timing believable, along with the words you chose in sentences, and everything. Your characters are... well, let me explain: Ma crack's ...

It was sad, and good. I liked the last line - see, she's supposed to feel terrible about her boyfriend's death, and instead she thinks about herself, about her mother ...

The whole tenses point is sort of driving me crazy [I'm sorry, I ususally really don't mind it.] see, you slip from past to present and it's very confusing. I ...

Okay, I loved it! You have a million spelling mistakes, and at least two tenses mistakes, and you don't know when to put a comma or a period but I ...

I loved the first one. It has a feeling of dawn, a new page after the darkness of night and all. I think you were able to capture some of ...

Okay, so more descriptions on emotions. How did the fear feel, then the hot feeling of courage, and all of those. It's a nice chapter, you need to work on ...

So, this was fine. It didn't wow me because it was a bit strange. I don't know how the gaurdian angel got there in the first place, a little more ...

You are talented. Honestly. You described it all perfectly, and I have to say, knowing my mom, she would have said the same thing. You thought like a mother, you ...

It was very. very well done. You had my attention at the title, and then at the first line, and then I got sucked into it all. Like someone here ...

It sounded a bit confused to me, see he says he doesn't want to die because he still has her will to carry on, then kills himself. Without waiting you ...

I love it! It's so sad, and so bound to happen! Please, please, oh please, let that girl and Travis be together so this idiot over here could steal her! ...