niccy_v

Hmm i'm sorry but this story is way predictable It's SO obvious from the beginning what is going to happen - and i read the next chapters and what happened? ...

This was highly interesting. But why would the guy want to kill Arnold if he still had a few days? And the guy obviously expected him to live to have ...

Woah mega sorry.. must've gotten the wrong window open. here: That is an interesting piece. I laugh at the man who thinks he can move a huge whale with his ...

This is overall pretty good. i see potential. EDIT!!!!!!! It's like the main thing to do. And you have failed to do that. If you had you would've picked up ...

First of all, this story baffles me. The POV you’ve taken means you have to use ‘him’ ‘he’ a lot, which is very confusing. Use names more often or make ...

Mostly been said but i'll give my two cents Interesting. It’s quite, um, emotional. Though I would not consider it a story as such because nothing happens. No setting (other ...

Ooh i liked this. :lol: It’s a great story, I really like it! Even though you’re telling a lot of the story and it does get a bit laborious here ...

Okay i have read all the ones you've uploaded It does not in my view become less baffling. No mean to be rude... but you really should review some books ...

Very short :0 You did not really give much to critique. It was mainly typos/spacing/repeating yourself. I hope it IS continued. That wasn't much of a story i am afraid. ...

I loved it ... the next parts are amazing too! Okay one thing - the bra and undies thing felt so pedophilia to me - but that's only because i ...

I decided I'd edit it again.. for some reason i did not realise i've already done it. So here's a better crit. It is a bit slow. Nothing MAJOR happens ...

i like where this is going, and i'm intrigued to where it does go. But you're showing rather than telling. It's all very story-like and not 'in the moment' as ...

Ew sorry but ew. i loved the way they were written and it was a good story line. but ew. i haven't read all the way through the first one ...

The Host Stephenie Meyer Was expecting better. Took me two months to get into. and dissapointed. umm DRYLANDS don't remember author but no beginning, middle or end. Not really. Hate ...

Nothing major wrong, nothing at all exactly. Just a few sentences didn't make sense so i made a few alterations. Christen is Christian (Christianity/Christ) just to let you know, unless ...