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mizz-iceberg

  • Poetry » Other, General Re: None ya' business.

    It's an awesome poem Monki. The imagery, the flow and the words are just right. I rather liked the repetition of "Let's run rampant through the city." Sadly, I don't ...

    Jan 20, 2009
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: I would rather...

    I really liked the poem. I would rather fly with the birds then spend my life wishing I had wings, Don't worry about that line, it makes sense. And it's ...

    Jan 7, 2009
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: My tea cup and I.

    I loved how you started the poem. It flowed well and it was interesting. From the sixth stanza, I found it repetitive and boring. Instead of flowing like it did ...

    Jan 7, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Looking Up to the Sky

    I absolutely loved this poem! You not once used the word God, or Higher Power, or fate or karma or any of those, yet you gave us a sense of ...

    Jan 7, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: nvm 6

    Hmm... the poem was very strong and understood right away what you were getting at. Nice choice of words by the way. However I didn't like the format too much. ...

    Jan 7, 2009
  • Article / Essay » General, General Re: A Crime of Compassion

    Hello, there! New Member, I see. Well welcome to YWS! :D Alright, I'm going to get right to your writing. I have attached my critique. Just click on download and ...

    Dec 5, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: A Simple Mistake (Prologue) [edited]

    Hello Oye! I have to say I really like this. It's a great way to begin something, but I do hope as this processes we see a little less internal ...

    Dec 3, 2008
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Rain

    Welcome to YWS! I see that you are a new member! ;) It would a good idea to introduce yourself in the Welcome Forum. In case you don't know YWS ...

    Nov 24, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: I love you? Yea right!

    Hello Rawr. I think your poem has potential but it needs some serious work. There is a lot of navel-gazing going on. For further explanation check out Snoink's article. Another ...

    Nov 19, 2008
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: The Perfect Fairytale

    Hahha. Veryu amusing. I laughed out loud in a couple of placed. ..Miserella... hahaha! She’d seen him around town a few times, always posing and smiling. Once she’d caught him ...

    Nov 19, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Crazy Little Thing II

    *Applauds* I love Jo and I am beginning to like Connor too. Jo reminds me slightly of Hermione Granger. And I really like that Conner acts as if he's all ...

    Nov 19, 2008
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Gerrymandering (1) [edit 07/01]

    Salaams Sam! I'll echo everyones comments before and say that I loved this. The descriptions were great! Everything flowed so well. I also liked the random humor. It kept me ...

    Nov 19, 2008
  • Article / Essay » General, General Re: Soul Mates

    ZOMG ZOMG! This reminds me of one of my favourite songs by NAtasha Bedingfield. It's called Soul Mate and I highly, highly reccemond you to listen to the song, read ...

    Nov 18, 2008
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Untitle Short Story - Quick Read, 1,170 words

    The Problem I love the plot. The story, the whole outline is great! However that's what it is right now just a plot. Your piece looks more like a detailed ...

    Nov 18, 2008
  • Short Story » General, General Re: confession of a criminal

    Hello! This is fresh, touching piece. I'll just first go through the nitpicks quickly... They say that legend often becomes fact, so before my reputation is completely ruined I want ...

    Nov 10, 2008


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