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Re: None ya' business.
It's an awesome poem Monki. The imagery, the flow and the words are just right. I rather liked the repetition of "Let's run rampant through the city." Sadly, I don't ...
Jan 20, 2009 -
Re: I would rather...
I really liked the poem. I would rather fly with the birds then spend my life wishing I had wings, Don't worry about that line, it makes sense. And it's ...
Jan 7, 2009 -
Re: My tea cup and I.
I loved how you started the poem. It flowed well and it was interesting. From the sixth stanza, I found it repetitive and boring. Instead of flowing like it did ...
Jan 7, 2009 -
Re: Looking Up to the Sky
I absolutely loved this poem! You not once used the word God, or Higher Power, or fate or karma or any of those, yet you gave us a sense of ...
Jan 7, 2009 -
Re: nvm 6
Hmm... the poem was very strong and understood right away what you were getting at. Nice choice of words by the way. However I didn't like the format too much. ...
Jan 7, 2009 -
Re: A Crime of Compassion
Hello, there! New Member, I see. Well welcome to YWS! :D Alright, I'm going to get right to your writing. I have attached my critique. Just click on download and ...
Dec 5, 2008 -
Re: A Simple Mistake (Prologue) [edited]
Hello Oye! I have to say I really like this. It's a great way to begin something, but I do hope as this processes we see a little less internal ...
Dec 3, 2008 -
Re: Rain
Welcome to YWS! I see that you are a new member! ;) It would a good idea to introduce yourself in the Welcome Forum. In case you don't know YWS ...
Nov 24, 2008 -
Re: I love you? Yea right!
Hello Rawr. I think your poem has potential but it needs some serious work. There is a lot of navel-gazing going on. For further explanation check out Snoink's article. Another ...
Nov 19, 2008 -
Re: The Perfect Fairytale
Hahha. Veryu amusing. I laughed out loud in a couple of placed. ..Miserella... hahaha! She’d seen him around town a few times, always posing and smiling. Once she’d caught him ...
Nov 19, 2008 -
Re: Crazy Little Thing II
*Applauds* I love Jo and I am beginning to like Connor too. Jo reminds me slightly of Hermione Granger. And I really like that Conner acts as if he's all ...
Nov 19, 2008 -
Re: Gerrymandering (1) [edit 07/01]
Salaams Sam! I'll echo everyones comments before and say that I loved this. The descriptions were great! Everything flowed so well. I also liked the random humor. It kept me ...
Nov 19, 2008 -
Re: Soul Mates
ZOMG ZOMG! This reminds me of one of my favourite songs by NAtasha Bedingfield. It's called Soul Mate and I highly, highly reccemond you to listen to the song, read ...
Nov 18, 2008 -
Re: Untitle Short Story - Quick Read, 1,170 words
The Problem I love the plot. The story, the whole outline is great! However that's what it is right now just a plot. Your piece looks more like a detailed ...
Nov 18, 2008 -
Re: confession of a criminal
Hello! This is fresh, touching piece. I'll just first go through the nitpicks quickly... They say that legend often becomes fact, so before my reputation is completely ruined I want ...
Nov 10, 2008
