miyaviloves

I'm here as promised aggges ago (I'm sorry forgive me please????) I read through the piece and read some of the other critiques and I'm afraid to say that most ...

First off I just want to apologise for the amount of time this has taken me to get to! But I am here now and I have read it so ...

Hey! Sorry this has taken me so long to get to but I am here now! Ok first thing's first -This is a good prologue, I often find with prologues ...

Hey! Sorry it has taken me so long to get to this! But I am finally here! First off is this the first chapter of something or just a short ...

I like this it is cute. I really think that you could work on it some more though. I do like the characters, you gave a lot of life to ...

Hello! OK, first thing's first, is the whole story going to be written in letter form? If it is I would suggest reading 'We Need To Talk About Kevin' which ...

Hi Twilight! I think that before I can even begin to look at this story you need to work on formatting, spelling and punctuation here. Did you write it on ...

Hmm... I am not really sure what to make of was ok...but just ok... I found it very stop startish, which was probably the effect you were trying to achieve ...

First off don't apologise for what you have written, you gave it a rating which is all you need to do, trust me, we have seen much darker topics covered ...

Everything you’ve ever gotten, -Gotton dosen't sound right at the end there, it sounds a bit clumsy and just well, I don't think that it works. I like the topic ...

And what a very good attempt this is! I loved it, to be honest, I liked the structure and the way it flowed. The lack of punctuation in this even ...

Terrible???? We were looking at the statue in general studies the otehr day and how the public hated it becuase the girl looked like a monkey or something and was ...

I agree I think it needs some punctuation as It really is lacking at the moment. It was also very choppy to read and didnt flow well. I liked the ...

I actually really like this as it is, even though some of the suggestions would add to it more. Did you write this for a band you are in or ...

hmm this was ok for a short story, but I think you could really use this a basis for a longer story, as the end was reallllllllly rushed and pulled ...