love,juliet

First off, I think you left out the W in "sweat" in your first line. :smt002 I really liked this short poem, I easily got the message and understood the ...

I'm pretty sure I can see where you're trying to go , but to me it sounds like the beginning of an essay. I interpret it as "We, as teenagers ...

Hey there! Wow.. you're really really good at rhyming. It seems though, that you just went looking for words that end with an 'eek' or 'ound' sound. Maybe you should ...

Hey there :elephant: You've got some great dialog going on in this piece--nice job! My personal opinion (which you don't have to acknowledge, of course) is that this story would ...

Heya Daniel! :D Okay, so you've got the bones of a by-the-book introduction here: great. Interesting topic sentence that the reader can relate to, while pulling him or her in ...

Ello Kat :) Okay, grammar first. It seems like you're a little addicted to semicolons but don't know how to use them properly. My guess is that you're mixing them ...

Hey :) I think this was a brilliant idea for a poem. Great rhyming scheme as well. I particularly liked the last stanza. However, when you say I dare the ...

Beautiful. To be honest, because I could relate, it made me cry at the end. I most enjoyed the in depth descriptions, particularly the lines "Your voice, soft as a ...

I loved the theme of this. It very much made me think of all those forbidden love stories out there, but from a different point of view. It was quite ...

I like the idea of using the lyrics from the song to break up your stanzas--it made me feel like someone was singing in the backround while I read your ...

First off, you've got the wrong form of "to" in two places. "Can all this be inside of you to" should be too, same with "and do you feel it ...

I agree with lilchoma. There are so many other wonderful words out there that it seems as though you did not care to fully describe your emotions. What's so hard? ...

I actually like how it's not split up into stanzas; I think adding a lot of spacing would ruin the flow of the poem. I loved the image of "their ...