lisalulu09

Loved it. :D Were you happening to be listening to Hate (I Don't Really Like You) when you put one of the lyrics in this bit? :P Next bit, please. ...

Ahahaha. She threw water on his head. :lol: It's brilliant. That's all I can say. :D Next bit. Now :)

Right, all the crit. has already been said, so all that's left for me to say is... amazing ! :D I want more now ! About titles, I can't think ...

Um... All I can say is that this is utterly amazing and very original and extremely cute. :D It could make a very interesting part of a novel, methinks. :) ...

Very, very good! A brilliant return from writer's block! :D :D :D

Right, all the necessary comments about grammar have been said already, so all that's left to say is... This is a very sweet little story that kept me hanging on ...

There is one major grammar problem that stands out for me... where are the speech marks?!?! For some reason, this confused me. :? But I'm sure that with some editing, ...

For some reason, I got confused with the boys. :? That might just be me though. Ha ha. :lol: Apart from thAt, this is very, very good, and I'd love ...

Hi. :D I really liked this. It seemed very original and like it could be a very entertaining thing to read. :D So apart from... My dad had gone or ...

This is really, really good. I'm still enjoying it, and there is nothing wrong with this bit whatsoever! :D Next bit, please. :)

I really like it, but some of it confused me - the speech mainly. Shouldn't it be on separate paragraphs for each speaker? :? But, yeah, apart from that, it ...

Hi. :) I've just read all of this and I love it! :D More, please! :)

Hi. :) I loved reading this! :D Is it part of a story? :)

This is really good. Some of it is really passionate and sensual and some of it was sad and heart-wrenching, which is a brilliant combination in a romance! :D There ...

Hi. :D This is really good, original (well, I think so anyway. :P), and I'd love to read more. :D I'm just wondering - what's the inspiration behind it? :)