kinzygirl223

Wow. That was very intense and can I say it had me from the beginning I mean the beginning of the whole story. I really don't have much to critique ...

Hmm. I thought it was..okay. I mean it was good but i thought it needed some revising. Ummmm you can do a break in the line at different times because ...

I liked it but.... You need to write it more as poetry. Thats all I really have to say though. :) And take out the dialouge. Dialouge is hard to ...

Once again just as good as the other ones. I love you work. You had great discription I can almost feel the way she does. Only one thing you said ...

I reallly liked this. I just have one question is Charlie a boy?? Just wondering. Otherwise i thought it was fantastic. I just got the vibe that Charlie was a ...

I personally really liked it. I agree though i really think it should stay vague. It had some mystery. I loved it. Although in the first line instead of darkness ...

I thought it was a good story overall. I have the basically same critic as the other guy. Punctuation, spacing, less dialoge. You get the point. At some areas it ...

I thought it was good. Still i thought that there was a few things wrong. The way everyone is always saying stuff simultaously is actually annoying at times. Try using ...

I liked it. I thought the word choice was very good. I think you should add on to the story. It could be a great story. :) :) :) :) ...

I liked it. Very entertaining Keep adding to it. I agree though you need to put more spaces in. :D :D :D :D :D :D

You always seem to impress me. I get a feeling like im really there. This is very sad. Still very good. It was sweet how they died together. Great story. ...