Published December 12, 2007
The darness shall take the earth from under our noses.
it shall destroy all human kind.
it has taken the lights that we cherish, and the seas that we swim.
soon it shall take the children that are laughing and the people that are bleeding.
Before you know it it will take your life away from you, all you'll be is a thought.......a forgotten thought.
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139,556 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
you never have to apologize for anything that you write (with the exception of libel of course)
it's fine the way it is, as a quote
and even though i can see the point in this writing (global warming, it makes sense) not all writing has to have a point.
don't limit yourself!
Well thanks!
I personally really liked it.
I agree though i really think it should stay vague.
It had some mystery.
I loved it.
Although in the first line instead of darkness is says darness.
You might want to change that.
I totally disagree that it has no point.
I think if you think it has a point it does.
Unless it's a novel, but that's a different story.
It's poetry though.
If you like it, then thats all that matters.
Good
I know i didnt wanna say it was globle warming but everyone ealse was like "it doesnt make sense its piointless"
I liked it, but once you said it was supposed to be Global Warming, I hated it. You should never really tell what a poem is about when it's written so vaguely. Keep it vague.
Meg!
I never knew you could write poetry But you can!
I love the way you said it would take away everything. I would nit-pick and point out certain bits that I like but as you know, I'm kinda at school on a slow-butt computer.
I didn't guess that darness was global warming, but now that I think about it, it makes sense. But it might be a good idea to add a little reference to global warming somewhere. ^^
Keep writing!
Cheers,
-Ayra
Just so you know the darkness was ment to be "global warming.." if you ddidnt figure that on out I'm sorry I'll try and descripe my storys a little better I just that it was more poetice to write the darkness.
Talk to you later.
-Buddadancer
Well i wasnt finished but i had to go eat dinner so i just said it was a qoute it would of been better i promiss:$
Well, it has a point. But you can't exactly make a story from only a point. Points usually are themes. Which does make this pointless--it does nothing for the reader.
Okay i'll put it to mind:P
but i think it has a piont you just h ave to look deeper.
It's more of a qoute....is'nt it?
I fixed the capitalization of your subject title....
This seems kind of pointless... in a way it reminds me of The Tide rises, the Tide Falls by Longfellow, although that is only because of the idea of nothing remaining of you. There isn't much to it... it isn't really a story, or... anything. *shrugs*