ka67

I love the idea of the story and I bet it could flourish into so much more, however there are many mistakes. You lack commas and more vocabulary,so maybe try ...

I enjoy the poem, It is incredible and does really explain balance in its own way. I do notice that sometimes you reuse the same word every few sentences and ...

I like the poem,i really do and yet I feel it could be lengthened somehow,made into a story maybe? Also, some of the examples are a little unclear and could ...

What an astonishing piece of work. I enjoyed the way you described the girl, described the excuses but some does not make sense so maybe say something else? Like' There ...

A little confusing. What is going on,really? They are both drunk,understandable but really why? And the random question from Bogart to jimmy and his reaction. what was on Bogart's mind ...

I liked this piece, I really did but there seems to be an ability to make the story deeper and more dark, more inviting. I'd read more if the story ...

I like the piece, and it seems ready to launch into action, but some of it is unclear. The girl is easy to understand I quite enjoy the way you ...

I like it, and I do love a gruesome tale. The person named Mr.Floss, he really interests me but a few things confused me such as the way you say ...