jMin

Interesting. . . . I'm curious about how this will turn out.

Yeah, it is pretty random. But this does remind me of Poe's "Raven".

Dude, don't force your writing to submit. Instead, you must submit to your writing.

I like how you make us read it. We read down instead from left to right. The words and your eyes fall down the page along with the imagery of ...

love and wove don't rhyme It's a visual rhyme. Shakespeare used it. It does the same job as a regular rhyme.

Please don't write a part 2! it's a greatshort story already and the only way to go from here is a slick spiral to the seventh realm of hell if ...

hey, the pm about the second person problem was for Ten Years, Twenty-Eight Days: Year 2

Just wanna say good luck. The 2nd person thing feels a bit risky. I'm not sure making the reader part of the story is going to work well, and if ...

Yes, the title does sound egotistical, but I meant it to be just a big ad to attract readers, for people to say, "Hey ! Let's see how good this ...

I have a recommendation. When Lyla stares at the crow, how about you have the crow lovingly nestling her eggs. This can foreshadow Lyla's decision to keep her baby.

That's right! Bow down to seniority, I'm class of '08! Gonna go to University of Washington in the fall! Sweet Seattle; senioritis sucks. Alliteration!

Sorry for my frustration. Save the newbie. And remember, if you're going to critique this work, please keep in mind that this is (my attempted) in iambic pentameter. I don't ...

NO REPLIES!?! You guys are ruining my self-esteem!