Winter Dust

This was interesting but, it does not really flow in my opinion. You could use more adjectives to help. Don't get me wring. I liked this piece alot. It just needs more depth.

Hi Anti-Pop ^^ Shina here I'll be your reviewer today since you are one of my favorite victims (mostly because your pieces are much funner to read then everyone elses' xD)

Okay I like the idea of this poem. As Rosey said and everyone else, it captures the abstract art of snow. The poem is like actually experiencing snow falling with its structure and formatting. A few things I noticed were that all of the words have capital first letters except for "the" and "and" but you capitalize "A" and Of". So you might want to fix that. If you want to capitalize the first letter of each line, then do so. IF you want to only capitalize description words, then do that. But don't capitalize articles and not conjunctions. Also, do not forget punctuation!:D

Though you have a nice idea here and good structuring, there is no real flow or rhyme. The words all fall down like snow, so that may distract a lot of the readers from the realy flow, but it did not fool me as well as a few other people who noticed it.

I caught a few other things! You say :

Setting
Softly
Atop
The
Roof*

Sticking
To
the
Window
Sill*

Hey there Anti! June here!

This is great! I thought I had reviewed this already, but I haven't, so here we go.

The whole reading-down thing gives a very dramatic effect here. It's the type of poem I could see in a literature book.

This makes us think. I wish you had touched a little more on how the snow falls. Hypnotize us with your usage of words, just as we would be watching the snow fall.

Firestarter pointed out what I was going to say; so there's no points repeating that .

For a first draft, and no reading through it, it's amazing. You did a great job here.

Keep it up, Anti, good job.


10/10

xxJune

Interesting. I think the real problem here is that there's no rhythm (I have rhythm issues too, though, so I won't penalize you for that too much). You poem looks a little odd, since there's only one word per line. It threw me off a bit.
The stanza:
"It
Stops."
Is so much shorter than the rest of the stanza. It throws off the flow (for lack of a better word).
At least it's snowing where you live. xD

It gave me a headache rather than making me think of a snowflake falling. It's impossible to read and therefore doesn't really work as a piece of writing. Using structure to mimic the subject of the poem can work, but it hasn't been done here suitably without confusing the reader.

A suggestion is to do shorter and shorter lines each time, if you want to keep the idea of falling.

For example, using your last stanza:


I Pull Back the Curtain,

Desponded And A

Single Flake

Falls


See? Falls ends up on its own and the emphasis is there. It now makes it flow and mimics the act of falling, without preventing the reader from reading it at all.

(As a side-note, desponded should be despondent)

Good luck!

Fabulous, fabulous, fabulous! You're a great poet, you know that?

Drifting

Down,

Floating.

Flying

Looking

Up

At

the

Sky,

The

Unseen

Force

And

A

Single

Flake

Falls

It was good. I liked it. But maybe you could make it a little harder. I mean put some more life into it.

This poem captures the abstract nature and beauty of falling snow that is so hard to capture on anything then a piece of paper or a camera lens.....

Ahem, well, in non-artist speak that means you've managed to describe falling snow very well and I found this absolutly amazing!

Just one nit-pick on the style. If you're going to do one word a line, keep it that way throughout. Going from reading down to sideways so suddenly is rather jarring.

I think that this poem is good because although it has no syllable pattern, it's could represent the fact that there is no set speed to the snow falling.

I think this is cleverly done and the way in which it has been set up is clever well thought out! I like a lot x

Thanks to you all for reveiwing this

And hurray for jMin! You figured out why I wrote it like that


*anti-pop

I like it. I like the variety of large words. I like an expanded vocabulary. Snowflakes are such a wonderful thing to write about

Tear it to shreds? looks like you have done that yourself this thing is so choppy. The choppiness is a unique style that is used in many famous poems such as this, but I am not sure where you were going with this, the poem doesn't seem to have a hidden meaning that I could find but this some work could make this a very neat poem I would recommend working off of the line "An a single flake falls" spring any meaning from that line that you can and you could make a really neat poem. Or if meaning meaning is not what you are aiming for, prolong the journey of the flake, involving the clouds around it, other flakes, the ground beneath it, and many other details. I am not going to tear this up, but I think it would be better if you build this up. Good luck and happy writing.

I like how you make us read it. We read down instead from left to right. The words and your eyes fall down the page along with the imagery of falling snow.

That is a sweet poem. It is a about winter rite?
I thought it was good but I think it would be better if you would add some more color, and your feelings to it. Share us are you happy about winter or you don't like the season? Still good job keep on writing!

hello,
Its interesting though the main problem is that the syllables don't match up. There's no flow to the poem. Just a bunch of words about snow falling...which is ok I guess, the "rules" of poetry aren't very definite. Also,

Drifting
Down,
Floating.
Flying

It
Stops.