hekategirl

First of all i'd like to say welcome to YWS! I hope you've liked it so far! but back to the poem: The title is a little bland, you want ...

I really like this, but as Reichieru said it didn't quite do what it was sopposed to do for me, but I think the imagry was great. And I like ...

Great as always Sam! I really have no critque because I am tired and aren't trying to look for anythin got critque on but it look great! it a tinsy ...

Great Sam, very funny. "The poor clock didn't stand a chance" :lol: but I think in the first paragraph you should have it like this: "At seven o’clock sharp, all ...

I don't know when you posted this but it doesn't fit in with the edited "Smoke and Dust 13" you need to write more inbeetween 13 and 14. But other ...

This isn't that bad. It was actualy kind of nice, but change 'u' to 'you', it doesn't make the poem seem very serious. And like ohhewwo said take out the ...

This is OK but it didn't really seem very poetic to me, and it didn't flow very well. I do like the endning though. And this line: "Too late to ...

This is very good and very descriptive Sam. I don't really know if you need something this style in 'Hourglass' but its fine. And By the way Nate, this is ...

This is very good, loved it. This line here is great: "you are a ship so long anchored at one place that," Nice imagry. But here I think you ment ...

I can see you are getting better at writing your poems but their is still alot missing, like Reichieru said, play with the sences, feelings and images. It gives it ...

I like this alot but like Reichieru said, it didn't feel like enough, it left me wanting more. And when you start a new sentence you need to capitilize the ...

This is a good poem but I didn't LOVE it. But I did like it, the italics inbeetween the senteces I liked the most, i've done something like that before ...

I like this very much :D I don't know if the ending was part of the poem but if it is I really like that part but if not I ...

*raises hand* me wanna cookie :P and very funny Sam and TBR :P :P :P

This is good, too short to really critque but you should have this part like this: CHORUS The sun is shinning, but not for me the sky is blue, grey ...