Me and SAm on this club made these up please don't take them unless you ask.
Rule #1 at the White House: If you are sensitive to your children viewing partial nudity, do not take them to the White House. The lawnmower guys usually take off their shirts in front of the fence (where the tourists are supposed to stand). I am not sure whether or not this is supposed to be a tourist attraction in itself, or what.
Rule #2 when at Williamsburg: Do not stare at the cute guys running down the street from William and Rule Mary’s. Even more important, do not feel sorry for them when they get run over by a carriage.
Rule #3 when at the capital: Do not stand directly in front of the Hawaiian statue. You will understand this better when you're in a coma 5 floors below after crashing through the floor.
Rule #4 when at the National Air and Space Museum: When at McDonald's, you must run if you want ketchup. It is the most popular museum in America, and as such, the ketchup runs out really fast.
Rule #5 when in Antarctica: When you are traveling to frozen Tundra be sure to bring mittens and not to tease the penguins. They know how to swim in -32F water and you don't. It goes the same with Polar Bears only they will chase you around and make you wish you were in -32F water.
Rule #6 in an airport It may be possible to take drastic measures to get through security quickly, smoothly, and as quietly as possible. Removal of: shirts, skirts, jeans, boots, high-heels, loafers, tennis-shoes, necklaces, earrings, nose-rings, tongue-rings and tongue, Rolex watch, flashlight, eye brows, wigs, packaged bacon, Michael Jordan, feet, eyeballs, left pinky toe, right index finger, cherry bombs, fire-crackers, salt crackers, cheese graters, President Nixon's tie, guns, knives, bibles, water guns, spray paint, spray glue, markers, frogs, French miniature poodles, rubber ducks, socks, nail polish, skin, pocket knives, any Garfield novelties, CD’s, videos, living proof that Osama Bin Laden is actually George Bush’s drinking buddy, your soul may be possible. You may keep chainsaws as take-on baggage.
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139,521 Literary Works • 672,595 Reviews
yes....
yes....
If you can read this you are ver qulified for an FBI job, thus you must die.
All people who hate Knights will be put in thwe stocks an have rotten fruit and veg thrown at them (god i'm evil)
Crazy people got skills. So go run around the street naked and then make that half court shot.
BOOM!
You tuna!
You stupid tuna! Now, like, i dotn get one thing really......if tuna is a vulgarity from now on can we say tuna on the boards? cuz like, you know with the entire...law enfrocment and coughtheironfistcalledjackcough I dont suppose we should say tuna. right?
*pokes nearby tuna*
Is this tuna dead? *blank stare* EEEk! A dead tuna!
31: For the next eight minutes, all children born shall be named "Steve".
LMAO AHAHAHA
ALL THE COOKIES ARE YOURS?!??!!
TUNA... bloody smelly tuna. tuna tuna tuna!
#30: Though nose-picking is strictly prohibited after dinner, it is a requirement before bedtime.
#31: For the next eight minutes, all children born shall be named "Steve".
#32: All cookies are the official property of Areida.
#33: The word 'tuna' is now a vulgarity.
#34: All persons between the ages of thirteen and eighteen that have hazel eyes must wear price tags on their heads, ranging from $4.73 and $806.94.
(Sorry... couldn't reisist... even though Sam's and Liz's and Sureal's were waaay better...)
Aww man... you mean I have to take these out? *shows a pocket full of her frog army* drat...
Otherwise: LOL! Impossibly random, but it was nice to have a laugh.
Rule 28: The Clanger are now considered God
Rule 29: To worship Clanger you have to whistle all day.
Ah those arev rubbish oh well
Meh... the funny is drained outta me....
too much... funny.........
greg... tsk tsk tsk foreshame doc!
26.Dont walk out the door unless you plan to be attacked by CHinchillas.
27.Do no tpick your nose before supper.
#15 You must have the number six hundred and sixty six tatooed onto your arm. It makes you look cool.
wooooooooooooooooooooo you rock
21. You can't be rasict unless a person discriminates against you. feel free to punch them
22. Typing with the use of a middle finger is now illegal.
23. Young children shall be watched in the streets, being run over or not.
24. You may not stop a crime in progress unless you have a warrent.
25. Now in bubblemint flavor, poison! should be put near childrens door at night... for the rats...
'#9 When in England, don't forget to take an umbrella. Cos English nannies can fly with them.'
Lmao..I shall put that in my sig.
#7 Anyone who breaks the law, has to fix it.
#8 Swearing is now illegal.
#9 When in England, don't forget to take an umbrella. Cos English nannies can fly with them.
#10 Prescription drugs are now illegal.
#11 It is now required by law for you take a gun into school.
#12 Failing that, a knife will do.
#13 You can have sex at the age of 16, but only watch other people having sex at 18. This is stupid. So now you can't have sex until your 18.
#14 Sex is now illegal.
#15 You must have the number six hundred and sixty six tatooed onto your arm. It makes you look cool.
#16 CD burning is now illegal.
#17 All girls must have long hair.
#18 Boys can't be stylish.
#19 Milk is now illegal.
#20 So is toast.
(Heh, sorry. Couldn't help myself...)
*raises hand* me wanna cookie
and very funny Sam and TBR 
LOL! Yeah poor polar bears. LOL! I think I ought to give myself a cookie. Anybody else want one?
All very funny, except Polar Bears don't live in the Antarctic.
Go randomness! Me like muchly. Very amusing.
*muahahahha* the first four were mine
WHOA! This is funny! I don't know how you thought of this... You don't seem this smart in school!
Oh! And BTW... MOO!!!
Impossibly random, and pretty d*mn funny too. Surprisingly, it all makes total sense too... I especially like the random, strategically placed objects that make no sense. It's awesome.