Published May 9, 2005
I am tired of living,
am tired of the flaws.
I'm tired of giving
all that I have up for
no reason just that what you
give might always come back.
I am tired of the arrows launched
at my heart.
All I do is ask for my peace,
to be alone with myself.
While I lay all by myself
and think of what happens
all to my life inside and out.
My love life seems not real all
I need is time.
No one is perfect not
even ones mind.
I'm always giving.
But my heart will go on.
I am tired of living this damn fucking life.
All this is ,is ramblings in my writers notebook.
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141,755 Literary Works • 675,686 Reviews
This isn't that bad. It was actualy kind of nice, but change 'u' to 'you', it doesn't make the poem seem very serious. And like ohhewwo said take out the emoticon, it doesn't to anything, it actually takes away from the poem. But I like this, just revise it and it will be much better.
Yeah, I can tell you didn't put too much into the actual poem. ... At least I hope you didn't. 8-[
" ya know?
You can lose the "u." The playful AOL lingo isn't really compatable with what you're saying. And the emoticon kind of kills the feeling for me. To me, that's still just the same as saying "I'm tired of living this damn fucking life ...
The first and third lines rhyme, but the scheme isn't carried out throughout the piece.
Yeah, this is just rambling.