fireheartedkaratepup

HAHAHA. The last response was icing on the cake. I'd respace part of the first one: The guppy swims 'round And 'round and 'round in circles. Ripples the water. Or ...

I'm hiding in the closet with an angel in my pocket; I shut the door and locked it. Just a feeling, but I can't stop it. Take out the but. ...

I would change the line spacing: You were not a bad man. You did not hit me or leave me or steal. You stayed at home and did your dues ...

Yeah....you might wanna tell people you're quoting random song lyrics. :P I don't understand the first line either.....it's certainly random enough to be a girl's brain though. Other than that..... ...

Ahhh. Beautemous. I, for one, love the way you conveyed the dialogue. It was confusing, but it worked. Also confusing when you switched to a more lyrical style, but I ...

...........I don't care about the title. XP (it's fine.) This is good as-is. I know from experience that if you try to draw it out, the rest may not be ...

Disagree with Jojo on the angel/riot line. I like it. Funny thing is, I was just reading a series (manga) about a compulsive liar. (I seem to have a knack ...

Love the message. Very nice. The flow is a little jerky for me, and it should be you're instead of your in stanza 5, line 1. Also, I think there ...

I love them. They're beautiful. my beloved, hooded coat had finally fallen to pieces; patching patches I'd change the ; to a --. I love the My sister had a ...

I love it. You'll hear people say "Show, don't tell"--meaning, do exactly what you've done here. Good job. And yeah, I read this really quickly, so it's a bit hard ...

Yeahhhh..... it doesn't quite flow. Sometimes it's awesome, sometimes it needs work. Overall, I like it. ..................I blame my short review on Mustard's review before mine. She's better than I ...

I like this. I think it needs more punctuation, but I can see the rambling sentence thing you have going on here. Nice. I would just move the beginning of ...

I don't really understand this poem. The latter part of each stanza--"Passionate words rolling from my lips like venom"--is that describing the beauty "you" wish to have, or is it ...

You asked for a critique, so I'm gonna fire both barrels. (I'm not sure that last part makes sense.) You sit here wondering why..... what, exactly? It sounds like those ...

Awwwwwwww. That's so horrible. Anyway, I think you should use punctuation marks other than periods. You know. So the flow will be better. I'll use my own sentence as an ...