I sit here wondering why
Seeing all these people passing by
The rush and the hurry to get somewhere,
Never taking the time to stop and care
You've give up what the entire poem is about right up front.
The business women with their perfect hair
And men in suits, who don’t have time to spare
Do they notice this world?
The sky? The clouds?
Or does polluting it make them proud?
Very, very, very good verse! Love this!
But who can make them notice our planet?
The birds, the trees, the flowers, the bees?
And who can create a larger variety?
Brave souls who can make people stop and see
What they’re doing to our home
Why I think those people are you and me
This verse is a bit ambiguous, and some lines don't make a whole lot of sense.
I like the message, but it's a bit bogged down in this poem.
The rhyming is nice, but it doesn't always work here.
I'd try giving it a bit more life and reworking a few lines here and there.
Points: 1040
Reviews: 80
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