fiction903

This is very funny. I never thought I would see a poem about My little Pony. "Good willed", sounds odd to me. If I were you, I would replace that ...

Hello, Since this is really large I am going to do the first two sections now, and the rest tomorrow. I think the introduction of your story drones on a ...

Hello, I thought that your poem was intriguing and I liked the suspense. You must forgive me but I feel that I can't comment on your punctuation because I am ...

I like this poem. I think that you have a good rhyme scheme and precise word choice. star-crossed, starlit, little stars, This is the only line that I would change ...

Welcome to YWS. I am Fiction here to do a review. Your poem was very good. I would try to explain why the mother left her family in the farm. ...

I like your story and I think that you got off to a strong start. At some points throughout the first chapter it seems like you are rambling because you ...

I think that you did an okay job on this poem. At some points it seems sort of childish and I feel this could be remided by using more advanced ...

Overall this is a good poem.I have a couple of things I would like to point out. I can’t see what’s wrong But I am not blind I’ve noticed this ...

I think that you did a good job of describing the girl in blue and her emotions.You portray the humans in the story as self absorbed ,idiots and the aliens ...

Hey Kingolions, I like your book thus far. I agree with the other reviewers that you need to do a better job seperating the dialouge because some of the dialouge ...

Hey Kingolions, It's Fiction here to do a review. I liked your story. It was well written and carries the plot well throughout the first chapter. I noticed a couple ...

I thought this story was interesting. Your main charcter seems like a nonconformist which reminds me of the book Stargirl. Throught the intire piece I was a little bit confused ...

I thought that your speech was okay. I feel like it is lacking rational organization and at some points it is a hodgepodge of subjects stuck together at random.This is ...

I love this poem. My inner child, Have you seen her? I'm afraid she won't come back again. She looks like me but smaller and Her hair is tangled wild. ...

Hello New hero, It's fiction here to do a review. To be honest it made me confused.I think it might have somthing to do with the title. Do I still ...