fallenangel

Hi. Okay, first of all I was just wondering (you don't have to say if you don't want to) if this is something that actually happened to you. It is ...

Hello! Alrighty, so I don't have much to add to the last reviewer's comments, but I will say I admire your ability to write something a child may connect to. ...

Hello "eviltypewriter" : ) Welcome to YWS! In regards to this piece of writing, I wonder if maybe it belongs somewhere other than Romantic Fiction, however, I don't know where ...

Hello! Okay, I really enjoyed the basic story line of what you have here. You have a lot of strong phrases that capture attention, particularly that last line: "She looked ...

Hello Hailey :) Alright, so first of all, I should let you know that i'm no poem-pro. I enjoy reading it, and I also like to interpret the emotions depicted ...

Hi. Okay, so first of all, I applaud your incredible depiction of emotions (through the dialouge as well as the story) and the powerful impact your descriptions had. I was ...

Hmmm :) Short, sweet, to the point. A great start! This little exerpt is obviously the "happy ending" situation most of us "oooo" and "awww" over (I'm totally a sucker ...

Alarainya, Compliments on the start of a story I'm already hooked on! I really like the idea of how she seems to be dreaming about him. Sometimes the love-at-first-sight can ...

This was very creative, your imagination is vivid and capturing! :) There's a lot of truth behind this story--whether it's fiction or something that really happened to you, I can ...

Hey! This was a very interesting piece, I loved how you portrayed something from a boy's perspective. Okay, so this was a little confusing. What's with the 'S' and the ...

I really liked that. Your rhythm was very good, and perhaps in only a few places you've to problems with flowing... Also I agree with niteowl up there, you need ...

Interesting plot line. I liked it very much. It was very original and captured my attention from beginning to end. I also really liked the way you left the reader ...

Whoa nice ending! Totally caught me offguard. Alright, I think everyone else has basically butchered most of the editing I could do... so I'll just say listen to them. I ...

Wow. That scared me! You successfully portrayed an obsessed freaky stalker murderer. It creeped me out, I keep looking behind my shoulder when I hear something. Thanks a lot. It ...

First of all, I like the idea of how they're meeting in the story, I think it's got potential to be cute and unexpected--I suggest putting more detail in and ...