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Re: He doesn't know the truth
*is confused by the veiled conversations listed above* umm... I'm here to review? He smiles when she smiles, he cries when she cries. I would say nix this line, because ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 8:12 am -
Re: Hues of Blue
I wrote this review but, by mysterious machinations of yws, It was deleted, or something. Anyways, I agree with Matt about the second person thing-- though you seem to mean ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 8:00 am -
Re: Breathe
Being busy, Nature is. Withdrawn from the lethargy Of frigid months. everyone pointed this out but I thought I'd suggest a way to fix it. Being busy, nature has withdrawn ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 7:51 am -
Re: My Life's Song
Hey caged heart, I have been reviewing poetry (almost) all day (have not taken a shower and its midnight) and I have to say of the ubergillion poems I've read, ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 7:36 am -
Re: Tomorrow is You
What is tomorrow without your love? Some wounds that would not heal Ripped off body in 2 halves Unable any more to feel. 2 halves is lazy (sorry but its ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 7:27 am -
Re: The Test
Hello lilymoore, First I have to say that I love your signature and your avatar. Emilie Autumn is amazing beyond words :smt001 I have to say that I really loved ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 7:22 am -
Re: Together Forever
A single tear, for a single lover, rolls down her pretty face. It's been a year, but he said forever, yet forever has come in vain. I really didn't like ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 6:58 am -
Re: Rain
Hello Corwin. Nice to see you on yws. This poem feels a lot like lyrics. This was the chorus: I can see it rain I can feel it pour I ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 6:40 am -
Re: You
Hello Ash, I am also a beginner at writing poetry. I have yet to write a romantic poem, though. They just don't suit my writing taste. But anyways,[ quote="Red Ashes"]“Where ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 6:34 am -
Re: My Sweet, My Silent, My love
I agree completely with Juniper but... that's a huge can of worms, romantic poetry. Anyways... I agree with Juniper and Sunny; I would also note The dark of the night ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 6:18 am -
Re: Fading Into Reality
I must say, you have a great rhyming scheme here. A dream is just that Unless you make it out to be True. Real In your own reality O.o That ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 6:13 am -
Re: True Love
I like it. Short, sweet, conveying emotion. One little nitpick. Nix the ellipsis after violent and have Josh be a statement with a period. like so Violent, Josh . Kind, ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 6:08 am -
Re: *Untitled
I really like the line Oh, Christmas tree how I loath you and your dear perfection. I love the way you paralleled loathe and dear perfection. I also like the ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 6:03 am -
Re: Last
Hello rebel! Nice to bump into you here :smt001 (really lame at starting critiques) well then, unto the fun part. I really liked the ideas you had in this. I ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 5:55 am -
Re: a little dream in abstract
I also really like this poem. I always wonder about cliche words in poetry because when I see them in a poem like this I wonder if the writer is ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 5:45 am
