dragonfphoenix

This line is awkward. "You stand by, watch and do nothing for us". First, it's hard to force through the wording to get the flow, and that's due to the ...

There are a ton of "your" words that should be "you're". Like "Like your used to", and "You'll think that your the saddest person". And with this sentence, "Dramatically, it ...

...Why is the first line not in the description? You have "~" telling me what to expect from this poem, and then you give me the explanation I was looking ...

Quick comment to your piece: I am a 'both-er' like you are. Music is what ties me back to my books, stirs my imagination so deeply at times that the ...

Well, without the verse structure of the poem it's hard for me to point out much that way. So...technical pointers. "I shudder knowing what the winter brings, I sit in ...

Formatting seems to be an issue on this site. Did you try Copy+Paste when you published this? If so, that's probably what's throwing all this off. Recommendation: delete the copied ...

All right, the first section begins in past tense, but then you transition briefly to present tense in the next paragraph before ditching that for past tense for the rest ...

All right, you had a lot of comma splices in this chapter. Many, many comma splices. Example: "Her mind was in chaos, she couldn't concentrate, not even for a moment." ...

Knight Dragon here to humbly serve in the capacity of a reviewer for the Knights of the Green Room. This is the first line that struck me as off: "When ...

Knight Dragon here to review for the Knights of the Green Room. All right, this is the first line that jarred the flow. "Don’t cry; I don't know if I ...

Knight Dragon here to give one of the requested reviews from the Knights of the Green Room. As a major fan of mythology, I liked how you took the Pandora ...

All right, review time. This sentence reads awkwardly. "Everyone was half way already to the mess." Either reword it completely, or just drop "already"; it's not necessary to the sentence, ...

More reviews. :D "They ate to their hearts extent and were full and could not take more." You mean "they ate to their hearts' (yes you need the apostrophe) content". ...

"Is The Tears Of V****** And The Dead Will Return" They read that and suddenly Eliza believes her friend? What does that even mean? That should lead to more confusion ...

Okay, review time. "It is just that she went to the graveyard and it has been 3 days since she has not returned". The sentence should read "it has been ...