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dragonfphoenix

dragonfphoenix

  • Novel / Chapter » Mystery / Suspense, Realistic Re: The Real World (Chapter 1)

    Knight Dragon, here to review! Hmm, that opening. It's a little disjointed, and could use some work. For example: I glance over the store windows, the panes glinting like mirrors, ...

    Feb 23, 2015
  • Short Story » Dramatic, Narrative Re: Imaginary Friends

    Knight Dragon, here to review! Hmm. This was an interesting piece. Some preliminary, minor technical things, then on to the content. It’s a horrible thing when imagination ends, when people ...

    Feb 11, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Fanfiction, Action / Adventure Re: Robin Hood

    Knight Dragon, here to review! Hmm. First off, a little bit on your formatting. Up through the letter, it's fine. But I'd advise not bolding the normal text, the body ...

    Feb 7, 2015
  • Script » Action / Adventure, Dramatic Re: Their Kingdom #1

    Knight Dragon, here to review! Reading through the dialogue, I stumbled on this line by Andrew. you my friend have the making's that would rival even George Chaucer. He already ...

    Feb 7, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Balance - Chapter 4.2

    Knight Dragon, here to review! You seem to struggle a little with sentence flow. For example, He was thankful he had thought to change out of his long robes and ...

    Jan 25, 2015
  • Short Story » Mystery / Suspense, Horror Re: Friendly freaking ghosts......

    Knight Dragon, here to review! Hmm... That first sentence. ...but I am here to tell you, that ghosts are real and they do exist! That comma is unnecessary. It doesn't ...

    Jan 4, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Other Re: The Copious Few. Chapter 6

    Knight Dragon, here to review on this glorious review day! As you sit there quivering, not wanting to break the quiet for fear of more destruction. I know fragments can ...

    Nov 30, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, Action / Adventure Re: Darkness (Prologue)

    Knight Dragon, here to review! First thing that stands out is " Prolougue " Is that supposed to be struck through? Or did you want an underline? (Or did you ...

    Nov 16, 2014
  • Short Story » Supernatural, Dramatic Re: The Reverends son

    Knight Dragon, here to review on this wonderful Review Day! Well, I don't know if I'd say it feels stereotypical (yet), but I'm definitely wanting less aloofness from the narrator. ...

    Oct 26, 2014
  • Short Story » Horror, General Re: Acousticophobia - Fear of Noise

    Knight Dragon, here to review! You have a very unique style. I'm not sure if I would have blended emoticons into the actual dialogue and narrative like you did, but ...

    Oct 9, 2014
  • Poetry » Fantasy, General Re: The Sterling Knight

    Knight Dragon, here to review! That was a very intriguing poem. I came into it expecting an answer to the question, but got the question itself. I liked how you ...

    Oct 7, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Fanfiction, Action / Adventure Re: The Tale of a Charmander (A Pokemon Story) Chapter 1; The Mysterious Charmander and the Hidden Town

    Knight Dragon, here to review on this wonderful Review Day! Wow, that's a pretty long A/N. You might consider enspoilering the note itself, with something like this: A/N: Fill in ...

    Sep 28, 2014
  • Short Story » Fantasy, Supernatural Re: The Sea Goddess

    Knight Dragon, here to review! Ooh, flash fiction. Lemme see, lemme see! (The brevity of the writing has been acknowledged and accounted for.) I noticed scales in patches ran up ...

    Sep 11, 2014
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Cross

    Knight Dragon, here to review! This feels more like a prologue or opening chapter than a short story. Just food for thought. They’re gone. Shard placed the last stone on ...

    Sep 6, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Mystery / Suspense Re: Tomorrow - Chapter Eight

    Knight Dragon, here to review on this wonderful Review Day! I toss and turn all night and, when I finally fall asleep Comma splice there. All you need to do ...

    Aug 31, 2014


Writing is like love: the real thing is a lot less romantic
— dragonfphoenix