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Re: The Real World (Chapter 1)
Knight Dragon, here to review! Hmm, that opening. It's a little disjointed, and could use some work. For example: I glance over the store windows, the panes glinting like mirrors, ...
Feb 23, 2015 -
Re: Imaginary Friends
Knight Dragon, here to review! Hmm. This was an interesting piece. Some preliminary, minor technical things, then on to the content. It’s a horrible thing when imagination ends, when people ...
Feb 11, 2015 -
Re: Robin Hood
Knight Dragon, here to review! Hmm. First off, a little bit on your formatting. Up through the letter, it's fine. But I'd advise not bolding the normal text, the body ...
Feb 7, 2015 -
Re: Their Kingdom #1
Knight Dragon, here to review! Reading through the dialogue, I stumbled on this line by Andrew. you my friend have the making's that would rival even George Chaucer. He already ...
Feb 7, 2015 -
Re: Balance - Chapter 4.2
Knight Dragon, here to review! You seem to struggle a little with sentence flow. For example, He was thankful he had thought to change out of his long robes and ...
Jan 25, 2015 -
Re: Friendly freaking ghosts......
Knight Dragon, here to review! Hmm... That first sentence. ...but I am here to tell you, that ghosts are real and they do exist! That comma is unnecessary. It doesn't ...
Jan 4, 2015 -
Re: The Copious Few. Chapter 6
Knight Dragon, here to review on this glorious review day! As you sit there quivering, not wanting to break the quiet for fear of more destruction. I know fragments can ...
Nov 30, 2014 -
Re: Darkness (Prologue)
Knight Dragon, here to review! First thing that stands out is " Prolougue " Is that supposed to be struck through? Or did you want an underline? (Or did you ...
Nov 16, 2014 -
Re: The Reverends son
Knight Dragon, here to review on this wonderful Review Day! Well, I don't know if I'd say it feels stereotypical (yet), but I'm definitely wanting less aloofness from the narrator. ...
Oct 26, 2014 -
Re: Acousticophobia - Fear of Noise
Knight Dragon, here to review! You have a very unique style. I'm not sure if I would have blended emoticons into the actual dialogue and narrative like you did, but ...
Oct 9, 2014 -
Re: The Sterling Knight
Knight Dragon, here to review! That was a very intriguing poem. I came into it expecting an answer to the question, but got the question itself. I liked how you ...
Oct 7, 2014 -
Re: The Tale of a Charmander (A Pokemon Story) Chapter 1; The Mysterious Charmander and the Hidden Town
Knight Dragon, here to review on this wonderful Review Day! Wow, that's a pretty long A/N. You might consider enspoilering the note itself, with something like this: A/N: Fill in ...
Sep 28, 2014 -
Re: The Sea Goddess
Knight Dragon, here to review! Ooh, flash fiction. Lemme see, lemme see! (The brevity of the writing has been acknowledged and accounted for.) I noticed scales in patches ran up ...
Sep 11, 2014 -
Re: Cross
Knight Dragon, here to review! This feels more like a prologue or opening chapter than a short story. Just food for thought. They’re gone. Shard placed the last stone on ...
Sep 6, 2014 -
Re: Tomorrow - Chapter Eight
Knight Dragon, here to review on this wonderful Review Day! I toss and turn all night and, when I finally fall asleep Comma splice there. All you need to do ...
Aug 31, 2014
