dolwright

Great Poem. I have a problem with this line though,"I won't give you the any more chances to"; I think it should be "I won't give you any more chances ...

I love this poem, though very precise, you kept it simple and the message was clear. The punctuations in this few lines need correcting though "My heart, It bleeds for ...

Thanks SmylinG; I understand. I'm not really good with rhymes; but it's something I'm working on.

Good poem. It would have been perfect if the punctuations were fixed right. The commas and full-stops disrupted the flow of the poem while reading.

Thank you shiney, on the issue of it not addressing the Nigerian youth, I think the statistics that show the high level of illiteracy, the number of youths that are ...

I love the expression used in the poem, if I'm not mistaken, this should be an allegory to the fall of man in the garden of has a lot of ...

I totally love this story, it got me hooked from the very start. It's the kind you would want to read a dozen times over. I wonder if this is ...

Interesting piece though in the beginning i was confused about the characters, i had to re-read that path to get the picture clear. Overall it is a lovely story, but ...

I don't think it's depressing...i think it came straight from the heart of the writer, and it's just great writing.

I liked your poem. Though simple and precise, was very meaningful. Keep writing

I'm definitely definitely impressed, i love the description used , and generally, i would say, a good job! keep it up!

Brilliant! i love the quick change of events, and also the tone used...I'll definitely love to read more.

Great work, i like the effect your poem brings, but one thing though, the stanzas did not have a uniform rhyme pattern, but all the same, kudos.

i agree with the first first i thought this was a parting between two lovers, it was entertaining though.

I have not read the whole story yet but i think i want to do that after reading this part, I'm sure it's an interesting plot.