Published June 15, 2011
Warning, mature photograph!
I super hope she makes an account on here!
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140,647 Literary Works • 673,580 Reviews
it was, in fact, a very unique way of describing something sensual. It allowe the reader to understand and invision the scene to there own liking. It was sexual but not explicit. Great job. Exceptional. Keep it up.
I love collabs. This one was interesting. Sadly I couldn't get to see the photo that inspired you, because the link led straight to a JOIN NOW page. It reminded me of the song Breathe on Me by Britney Spears. There's something mysterious and sexual about it that I love. It's not crude, it's sleek. My favorite line was "With fingers dipped in wet new skin" That's a sexy image. I loved it. And I really like the repetition of "just enough" in the second stanza. It would sound better if you could add another "just enough" into it, in a way that would work. As I said I like the repetition of it. and your friend should make an account! I feel like collaborating with someone now.
"I would not thaw your formwith wordless meaning, not with shapes unlike your own; I would lead you out into the sun,to melt each evening."
Wow! I am realllyy impressed! Keep writing and convince your friend to make an account.
I'm definitely definitely impressed, i love the description used , and generally, i would say, a good job! keep it up!
That was sassy! Consider me a fan. The line breaks and impressive flow really helped with the mental imagery! The only thing that could be improved would be for the idea to be developed earlier on. But that's just nitpicking - great poem!
Darn I wanted this to be a funny poem about a helpless banana.
I find this poem to be very sensual and it is definitely something I would save to read again.
My favorite part about it is how bodies are compared to elements of nature in a way that isn't a cliche.
The first line caught me, "Meanings wear words like you," I had to go back and reread it, not because I didn't understand, but to make sure I did. Your line breaks give this good flow. I enjoyed it immensely.
Nice! I loved your description and wording. It was a bit confusing at first but now I sort of understand what it is. I really liked this!