denj

Hey Jalmoc, nice work here, especially for some free time in class. With that in mind, it's good, with only a couple issues. I'll go over those first. It was ...

Interesting little passage you have here. It is well-written overall, but a couple minor things I noticed. I could almost hear them whispering histories past stories of bravery and might... ...

This has to be one of the most interesting and original pieces I've read in a while. Really, really great job. When I saw the title, I had not heard ...

Very nice start to a story. I haven't played Left 4 Dead personally, but I'm familiar with the zombie apocalypse premise. You've done a good job with it. Now, for ...

Hey, BadNarrator, First off, very nice job. You've created a story with plenty of action and an entertaining premise. It did not fail to hold my attention, but there are ...

Hey there Baywolf, happy I stumbled on your writing here. First off, wow. That was my impression as I read more and more of this piece. It is really very ...

This looks to be the start to a very interesting story. I liked how you incorporated mystery, suspense, and almost a sense of confusion. I would do a comprehensive grammar ...

“Are you sure you want to go on?” I asked her anxiously as the operator checked our lap bar. “Yes, Daniel. You’ve asked me a million times.” She said To ...

The world was black. An all consuming Should be "all-consuming" black. I was weightless. The darkness pushed in on my soul, my lungs were struggling Not a big deal, but ...

This poem is really not bad at all. It's short, simple, and descriptive. You've done a nice job of creating a sense of isolation and aloneness. As EliteHusky said, it ...

I couldn't recall the exact moment it happened, which likely benefitted me, for I would aim to cherish it for all time or strangle the thought for causing me the ...

Once again, very nice job, but a few more mistakes this time. While most Mercedario’s spend their time going out to the ill and the poor and the unjustly accused, ...

Wow! This is truly one of the best pieces of writing, if not the best, that I've read so far on YWS. Before I continue to shower you with praise, ...

Well, being a wolf lover, when I saw the word "wolf" in your title, I had to take a look. I have to admit, this story needs a lot of ...

Wow! You really did a great job with this section of your story. Your characters are well-developed and have real substance, which you show through their behavior, dialogue and funny ...