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Whoa, no one will be encouraged to read if ya have it like a big block of text. Split it into stanza also punctuation. This will encourage more to read ...

Man... Brad I'm so sorry that sound horrible, not you're recitations but the poem. I hope you get better and god you really sound so depressed. I had to comment ...

Wow, just wow... I'm sorry I can't say much, I can only say try moving away from rhyme or adopt more interesting rhyming then you could do amazing stuff. So ...

As I've said this is for english I couldn't write more, I had to rush it to an ending. The problem was the idea had too much potential and I ...

Claudette, I feel I should point out that she's been unable to write stuff for a while and her situaction has made it hard to even write poetry. I'm sure ...

I liked this, and I feel the same for my princess. Me and her couldn't live without each other. I didn't understand when I saw first post but read it ...

Sokool Fanfiction section didn't exist when I posted this so I know it should be there now but when I post this fanfiction sec didn't exist.

I don't like him, I tried to read the first, and stopped. I just couldn't stand him. He was so arrogant and smug. I just couldn't stand this about him. ...

Personally the BBC adaption was much better. Everything about it except small things. Though BBC did an amazing job. My favourite The Dawn Treader.

Just wondering is bows supposed to be brows if not then what is it? Anyway finally read it all heh. Anyway it's interesting and yes spaces between all dialogue. Well ...

As I said on chat bad way to begin it's too rushed to begin can't explain it. I'm enjoying it though and Shadow noticed the thing you should really fix ...

Yeh getting better now I noticed, few capitals and others everyone else has pointed out. This is getting good though.

Okay nit pick you say she too much and Elyn still too fluent. To add I agree with Shadow bout saying burst, is Tamia suddenly a balloon:P Okay on to ...

I've only just began to read em. They're good very intresting and honestly took me a while to realize Max was a girl.

This is much better written now, just please write thoughts in italics, or you may kill my brain. Anyway I agree with Prok but, you can use the thing I ...