dante93

I do not know if you caught this, but your rhyming is a bit off, between the first and second stanza it changes. I like the idea, but you need ...

I like the poem the way it is. thanks for trying to help, but ive already sent it off to a magizine and its getting published. yay.

I got the idea from Dante's Inferno originally form several cantos within it. I wanted to create a poem inspired from that, only twisted to the person at its center ...

Thanks. Don't worry. If you want to you can write something negative if it is constructive. Thanks for your comment though. The only reason I wrote this is because of ...

thanks.

Yes though a grizzly image sounds awesome!

I don't really care if it's dull to you Navita. Seriously if you take the time to write such a long comment to insult me then I must be doing ...

I liked the poem. It wasn't so much depressing as it was real. Keep this kind of style and it will take you far.

No it is bear as in i give you my soul in its entirety. I give you a glimpse into my mind. That sort of stuff.

Thanks for the comments. This actually for a three part series I wrote. I forgot to mention that in my entry. This is the first of three poems i wrote ...

thanks i guess. this was supposed to be a flat poem by the way. i got tired of writing stories within my poems and wanted to write one driven simply ...

thanks. i dug this out of my folder. i wrote it about 3 months ago for no particular there ya go ill fix it sooner or later.

Yes, but do not sacrifice what you already have to shorten. I like the message in this poem.

Also thank you both for your comments they really help.

Well I like this poem. It is both deep and hilarious. Keep up the good work