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convintojm

  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Right By You

    it felt bumpy and inconsistent. the patterned stuructured first stanza followed by less structured other stanzas bothered me.

    Feb 26, 2005
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Reality

    way too short and way too simple. i don't even think i can get a feel for the poem to tell if it has potential from that. needs some serious ...

    Feb 26, 2005
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: summer heat (needs better title)

    ok went back and added commas where i would intend for a pause. i do understand the need for them but i'm horrible at ever remembering to use punctuation. so ...

    Feb 26, 2005
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: english gothic

    beautiful to read but one thing that bothered me was "black as the air at night" i didn't really like the wording or even the metaphor itself.

    Feb 26, 2005
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Just Us

    The touch of your hand holds my mind in place has we float above the ground, i think you mean as not has it was ok overall. there was too ...

    Feb 25, 2005
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: resonation

    interesting but vague maybe too vague

    Feb 24, 2005
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Flowers

    i think it'll work best along side the picture but it does a really godo job of painting a picture by itself. one thing though... "i wonder of they weep" ...

    Feb 21, 2005
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Memory

    it's straightfoward and a bit too sweet. i can't say what to improve because it's just i'm not really digging it and i have a hard time making suggestions for ...

    Feb 21, 2005
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: (Deleted).

    seemed too straightfoward and very very predictable

    Feb 19, 2005
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: To Win a Date

    nice and rather light which is a bit uncommon from you but good none the less.

    Feb 18, 2005
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: My Butterfly

    it didn't keep my attention very well. it has the potential to be really interactive and like toy with the reader but it doesn't really.

    Feb 15, 2005
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: My First Poem

    it wasn't bad considering the restrictions placed on it but the flow was interrupted by the form

    Feb 15, 2005
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Apocalypse Of Indecision

    absolutely beautiful. the flow of words and their very sound (i felt complelled to read it aloud) are a pleasure.

    Feb 13, 2005
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Ah, les bons vieux temps ou nous etions si malheureux.

    it's interesting and i like the idea but it didn't really capture me. the tone as lovely but because it's so general it seems too light.

    Feb 13, 2005
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Gloomy, Randy and No Whiskey: Maturity Rating: Over 13

    there's defintly some really good lines in there. overall i don't really know how i feel on it but parts of it really strike me. as for what you're getting ...

    Feb 13, 2005


I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary.
— Margaret Atwood