comrie

hello, hello! so, you've posted another chapter, i'm glad. like zib said, there's not a lot of action in this, but the dialogue was good. so, anita's introduced! i'm guessing ...

cute. it was cute how they would sneak to see each other. kinda reminds me of a certain, well-known Shakespearean play. but it's still okay. i like the background you ...

"Elena come down stairs it's time for dinner!" yeah, like wildest temptations said, add a comma after Elena. oh, and i'd try and split it into two sentences. *"Elena, come ...

hello, there! i feel bad for her, and i agree with some of the other reviewers. the suspense was great, and your story drew me in until the very end. ...

this was cute. descriptions are necessary. i feel as if you didn't describe enough, and it was going a bit too fast. i didn't like how parts of their lives ...

naughty, naughty kayla for having those kinds of dreams. and i can't help but guess who plays the role of he in it! wow, i love these types of stories. ...

i like alex's character. he's interesting. “Your father is going to kill you for this.” He said. you should replace the period with a comma, and lowercase the h in ...

i'll start off by saying: i liked the descriptiveness in this. it was great. everything was easy to picture and it helped me, a lot. i'd only edit the grammar ...

wow, surprise. i did kind of see that coming (adam liking mari), but it was nice. Flipped on the T.V., I was interrupted with a sound I didn’t want to ...

i thought that this was wonderful. i'll have to agree with some of the other people, i'd just work on punctuation a bit. i think you only have one problem ...

i know exactly how syd feels-- i'm guessing like most people--, but still! i love the description, even if i do feel bad for her. but i can't wait to ...

so... are they all vampires? i'm aware of the main character and i'm guessing her love-interest are, but what about the rest? you should identify, i guess, signs or hints ...

i liked this a lot. try spacing out and making lines, instead of having one big chunky paragraph. some readers say that draws them away from a poem or story. ...