chocoholic

Hmm... I didn't particularly enjoy it. I found the words lacking oomph. It was very plain, and I had trouble following it. I did like it though, and with a ...

Essentially I liked it, but it needs more emotion. Right now, I read it and think, oh, so that's what happened. How terrible. I'm not getting worried or worked up ...

Aww... that was sweet. Mothers are like that. There was no spelling or gramatical issues that I could see, so congrats on writing a very heartfelt poem!

I liked it. It was short, but your descriptions are nice and the ending is deep. Good job.

Okay, so I read about half and then stopped. This is very long, you should split it up and post it seperately. PM me once you've done that, and I'll ...

I quite enjoyed it, and I'll read the second part as soon as I finish writing this. I did notice one mistake. In one part you spell enemies wrong, you ...

This is very interesting, but I found it a bit hard to follow. If you spaced it out and added something more, it would be better. Overall, it's very good ...

Hah! It was funny. And I think I managed to keep track of it.

Sorry to drag this up, but I wanted to check out some of your other stuff. The poem was good. There was feeling in there, and it was very real. ...

Hehe. I actually thought that was funny, but I can have a weird sense of humour sometimes. You do need to space out your writing, it's very annoying hvaing it ...

Nice. The rhythm was different from a lot of poems I've read, and the topic was dark but pulled off in a light-hearted way.

That was really beautiful. I don't really know what to say, except that I loved it and can't find anything wrong with it.

The poem is sweet, but could be improved. Right now, it leaves little feeling or information. If it were longer it would be better. Also, you wrote desent, its decend.

Blacks? Jews? This is sounding like Nazi Europe, not 9/11 America. The bit about the pills was good, and the feelings you provoke are nice. I'd like to read more, ...

I myself haven't read it, but my little sister has and I've heard nothing bad about it. She didn't say it was hard to understand, but maybe she just didn't ...